Press Start [homestuck] (on hold)

Chapter Two- I Smite Thee!

I swung my axe down on Hun Batz’s head, but he managed to dance away, just in time. Growling angrily, I began to pursue him.  He took a sharp left turn into the jungle, and I followed fiercely. However the Monkey King nimbly leaped backwards, up and over my head, landing on the canopy beyond my axe’s range.

I was playing a modified version of the MOBA Smite, a laning game where you play as characters from mythology. I was Chaac, the Mayan god of rain. My enemy that had escaped was Hun Batz, the Mayan trickster monkey god. In this modified version, it was fully immersive, we were in the game. Thankfully, this was one that we could sign out of.  Quite unlike the other game, it was not actually life-threatening; your wounds didn’t even hurt.

 I typed “Enemy returning to base, I’ll defend right lane.”

“Roger that.” Came BM’s response.

I looked at the map in the top right hand corner of my vision. I could see BM’s icon hovering around an enemy siege tower in left lane. Suddenly, an icon circled in red approached her on the map. Determined to be of assistance, I threw my magic axe as far as I could. As soon as I heard the “THUNK” of it piercing jungle floor, I activated the next ability, teleporting me to its location in the middle of the jungle. I took a few steps out of the underbrush, and came to the realization that I was in the wild juggernaut’s territory! I froze, hoping it wouldn’t see me there. I wasn’t so lucky. It gave a terrible roar and lumbered toward me. I raised my axe defiantly. If I could kill it, I would score massive points for my team, and we were already losing.

 I glanced at the chat tab furtively, and saw several panicked messages from left lane. The enemies had triples in number and advancing on them. My teammates had gathered near their primary siege tower. They weren’t safe in the least. The juggernaut was on me in seconds. It’s huge fist, sporting bloody brass knuckles, smashed into my face. Forgetting for a minute that it did not hurt, I cried out. It reared its head toward me, detecting the sound.  I activated my third ability, and rain poured down on both of us, healing my wounds and slowing his movements ever so slightly enough for me to shove him off me. I knew what to do now. I hurled my axe again. A green rimmed icon faded in left lane. An ally was dead. I tried to heft the juggernaut’s massive weight. Not waiting to see if the axe had hit the ground yet, I teleported.

I found myself, seconds later, in midair over an enemy player. Holding my shield out in front of me, I body slammed the enemy Thor. He crumpled under my weight. In a single moment, the juggernaut’s giant shadow was above us. I landed one more punch and activated my ultimate. It lifted me up into the air, going straight through the juggernaut, to my relief. I raised my axe, feeling the thunder coursing through my veins.  I saw BM, in the form of Artemis, the Greek hunting goddess. She was mouthing the words “what the fuck?” Giving one last battle cry, this probably sounded really dumb, and slammed down into the both of them. It was too much force for the juggernaut, and it vaporized. Thor was already gone, his icon long faded, finished off by a well-placed, well-timed arrow from BM.  I got to my feet, and was about to try to say something clever, but the “You Win!” symbol was stretching its way along the sky. I was yanked out of the game world. The last things I saw were BM’s grin and Hun Batz glaring angrily at me. I signed off and got onto pesterchum. BM messaged me before I could do anything.

BM:  That was an awesome game, Steven!

Yeah she knew my name but I didn’t know her name. Still!

BM: Ok, let’s get started! You boot up the server program while I clean up a bit around here.

Ok, I decided I wanted to know now.

Dj: BM, wait. We might not come out of this, so I think I should at least know your name before we start. Um, if you don’t mind?

An awkward pause ensued.

BM: Jez. My name is Jez.