The girl at the door (Hosie)

Chpt. 11

Josie POV

I could not believe the words that escaped her lips. I immediately froze not sure how to react.
"Sorry" she said walking away going deeper into the house. I still stayed in the same place for a long time clutching my jersey.

I finally found my legs when I don't hear any movement from the house.
"Hope?" I called out but there was no reply. I started to get worried and run the way hope went. I soon collided with someone and fell straight onto my ass.

I look up and see hope standing there not moving. I slowly got up and reached out to touch her. It felt like I did this in slow motion but finally my finger tips met the back of her back.

"Hope?" I looked over her shoulder to see what she was looking at but there was nothing there but darkness. Hope still didn't reply and just kept staring at something I just couldn't see.

I decided its best to find a light switch so that I can see. I walk away from hope and find a light switch not to far from hope and I. I flip it on and the room lights up. I look around the room it was a mess but nothing to serious.

Books and pieces of paper we're everywhere around the room. I look at Hope at she still hasn't moved.
"Hope seriously answer me" I say more firmly this time.

"RING RING!"

My phone starts going off and I sigh reaching into my pocket pulling out my phone. The screen read 'Lizzie' and I sighed once again turning my back on Hope.

I answer the phone
"Hey"
"Hey are you okay, have you found anything?" Lizzie goes on and on and I just laugh at her.

"No lizzie calm down we just got here!" I say back still giggling. That's when I hear a thud and I immediately turn around to see Hope on the ground.

My heart stops and I end the call without another word. I run to Hopes fallen body. I fall to the ground beside her putting my hand on her back.

"HOPE!" I shout praying that she was okay. I grab her arm and feel her wrist and thank goodness there was a pulse.

That made me feel at ease but I was still worried about her. The thought of something happening to her breaks my heart.

* * *

I managed to pick hope up and put her on the couch. I walked into the kitchen to grab a clothe to wet it and put it on her forehead because it felt really hot when I touched it.

I walked back into the room and gently bent over putting the clothe on her forehead. Her breathing was slow and steady as I watched her chest rise. She is so beautiful.

I kiss her gently on the cheek and stand up straight. I look around the house it's so quiet. I don't really want to be alone so I just stay in the living area.

I sit down on the floor not to far away from hope. I look at all the papers and books and one catches my eye. I crawl on the floor and pick the old fashioned book up.

It has some pages missing but something about it was right. I open it to the first page and see that the writing is that same as hopes. I decide to read the first page.

Today I did something bad like really bad. I had no idea what I was doing. I outed Josie.

I stop I shouldn't be reading this. I think it is hopes journal. The voice in the back of my head told me to put the book back down but another part begged me to read it.
I'm going to regret this.

All the boys are always on Josie and say how she is beautiful it makes me mad. I'm not sure why though maybe it's just because I think she deserves better. I over heard her when she was in the woods, it wasn't my fault that she just happened to be in the same place as I was I mean like come on. She said that she was gay and a little inside me when I heard her say those words I felt a shiver run through my whole body. Something inside of me was happy what I was hearing but another side of me took over and I ran out the woods. I started by just telling my friends but rumors spread like wild fire. I was scared so I went to go to Mr.Saltzman I needed to tell him before the other kids did. I told him that rumors were spreading but he wanted to know what the rumors were. I didn't want to expose Josie to her dad but I panicked and I told him. I actually feel sick, how could I do this to someone as amazing as Josie. If she is mad at me for the rest of her life it's because I deserve it. I don't deserve to live.

The ending had me in tears. Hope didn't want to live anymore. I look up from the book to see hope still fast asleep. Maybe hope picked this book up and started reading and that's why she passed out.

I had no idea. I look back down at the book. If I read more I'm afraid that what I read will forever be in my brain.

The thought of hope taking her own life scared me. I flip the page and begin to read once again.

Today I figured out that I have a crush on Josie. She is so beautiful but I killed my chance with her. I exposed her and she knows I did, she's mad at me and I'm not surprised. When I went to try and apologize to her I chickened out and just stood by her door for 20 minutes. I haven't talked to Josie since or even tried to apologize. I know that sounds bad but I'm a bad person and I know that. I'm doing quite well with school though and I'm planning on going to Australia to study in the top school there. I've already been accepted, but a little inside of me wants to stay here. I think Josie and her friends are moving to America to live together. That's sweet, I'm moving with my one friend in Australia. She is very sweet and pretty. Her mom was an alpha female and her dad was a wizard. Her eyes are stunning too. I think I like her but I have no idea, we have been friends forever and to ruin that would just not be good for me. I needed a friend more than anything.

I sigh flipping the page getting more comfortable by sitting on one of the couches.

I know I haven't written in here forever my bad. I've been really busy, I just finished finals and 2 weeks I leave to go to Australia. I would of left next week but Mr.Saltzman wanted me to stay and help him with this one case. I got to go.

I turned the page but pages were missing more like ripped out. I look for a page that had writing on it and began to read.

I can't believe Mr.saltzman is gone. His funeral was only three weeks ago and I'm depressed. I tried to save him but he let go of my hand. I tried my best but I was wounded bad, my whole side was ripped to pieces and I tried I really tried, I just didn't have the strength to lift him up and he knew that. He wanted to save me that's why he let go. I don't remember much after that, it all went black. The next thing I knew was I woke up in a magic hospital. When I went home I didn't talk to my best friend, Sydney. I just couldn't talk to anyone. I still can't get over it. The one thing that make this even more bad is the fact that Josie lost her dad and I can't help but feel as if it was my fault and for that I can't be alive. I've hurt to many people. Goodbye.

I started crying hard as warm tears fall down my face, I had to cover my mouth with my hand trying not to make any noise.

"What are you doing?"