Timeline: a Wings of Fire fanfiction (COMPLETED)

10.

Darkstalker

"Please don't block me out," Clearsight whispers.

How does she know I was lying awake again?

I don't respond, rolling over, trying to pretend I'm actually sleeping. Which is another thing I've been having trouble doing of late. It's not that I'm not tired, it's just... the second everything around me goes silent, the thoughts creep in.

The rage.

The fear.

The emptiness.

It's pretty hard to sleep when your mind can't stop spinning that way.

"Oh, come on. I know you're awake, Darkstalker."

I don't respond.

Clearsight sighs.

"If you let yourself act like him, you're letting him win again. If you let him suck you down—that isn't defiance. That's letting him take you."

"You have no idea what he acted like—" I start.

"No. But I know he was angry, and I know that if you let this destroy you—"

"Stop." My voice is a cliff. Or a landslide. Or something. My voice is an ocean in the middle of a storm. My voice is a waterfall at maximum capacity. My voice...

"Darkstalker. Please. Talk to me."

"You can talk about anything else. Not him." Every muscle in my body is tensed up.

"Oh, that's a great life strategy! Don't talk about the reason you've gone dead inside for week on end! Don't talk about it, like that'll actually make it go away!"

"Clearsight—"

"You can't just expect my thoughts to always agree with yours," she says quietly.

"I don't want to talk about this. This is--"

"He's dead, Darkstalker. Talking about him won't resurrect him. What am I supposed to say? He Who Shall Not Be Named? I'm not even asking you to talk about your feelings. I was just pointing something out."

"I don't want to talk about it. He was evil, and I'm glad he's dead. Is that good enough for you?" I snap, growling a little and shifting as far as I can away from her.

"Darkstalker..."

"You don't get it," I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"So explain. Tell me what's going on in your head. Let me in."

"I told you. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" She challenges, sitting up so she's staring me straight in the eye.

I sigh. "Just leave me alone, Clearsight. I'm tired."

"Well, you know what?" she snaps. "I'm tired too! I'm tired of you being like this! I'm tired of you ignoring me. I'm tired of you pretending you don't need help. I'm tired of you pretending everything is all right. I'm tired of--"

"Clearsight. I'm tired."

"So tell me about it. I am your wife!"

"I don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It," I hiss.

"Oh, so we're just going to stay like this forever then, are we? Not even talking to each other? Fighting all the time? Because if this is how you're planning on acting for the rest of our lives, you can call off this wedding now." She meets my eyes. It takes me a moment to realize she's serious. "And I don't want to do this. Darkstalker, where are you? Because right now, you're not acting like the dragon I fell in love with."

"Well then, maybe he never existed," I snap.

Her eyes glass over. "Darkstalker, stop it. Right now. Stop it."

"Maybe I will, once you stop talking like a dragonet."

Clearsight pulls out the seashell earring I gave her a couple weeks ago and throws it at me, tail lashing. "I'm going to my office. You can tell me to come out when you're planning on acting like an adult again."

"Fine!" I snap, ignoring the hollow blooming in my chest, licking its lips, getting ready to swallow me whole as soon as she leaves me alone. "Whatever!"

"Darkstalker..."

She's crying, I realize. Not much. But there are tears, running down her cheeks, dribbling onto the floor.

"What did I do wrong?" she whispers.

And I know I shouldn't, but I wrap my wings around her, pull her into my chest.  Because I can't. I can't hurt her. I can't hurt anyone anymore. I can't--

"We'll be okay. We'll be okay. We'll be okay." My voice goes thick.  I can't breathe.  "We'll--we'll be okay, Clearsight. We'll be okay."

She doesn't say anything.