Timeline: a Wings of Fire fanfiction (COMPLETED)

8.

Clearsight

I don't know how to knock on Darkstalker 's door when it's not his anymore. Is this, like, a normal social interaction thing? Or is it a formal thing, since Foeslayer is going to be my mother-in-law soon? Should I have dressed up all fancy or something?

I rap again.

Foeslayer opens the door wearily.

I smile nervously. "Hey."

She smiles back, but it seems forced. I don't blame her.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

"Is Darkstalker with you?" The NightWing frowns.

I shake my head. "He's... working."

"Why aren't you?"

"Because I... I wanted to talk to you." I anxiously fiddle with my tail.

"Did something happen?" Foeslayer asks.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I mean, not as—not as your daughter-in-law. Just as a friend."

My heart is thumping in my chest. I don't even know why. I just get the sense that this conversation matters is going to matter, in the really near future, but I can't figure out how, and that makes me scared. Really scared.

The wind brushes over our scales. Foeslayer looks like she hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in ages.

"Come on in. It's freezing outside."

***

"Is Darkstalker okay?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Do you want the real answer or the socially correct one?"

Oh moons, why do I always have to get so sarcastic when I'm nervous?

"The real one."

It doesn't feel like a joke anymore. I look down at the snow-white carpet. "I don't think so. I think he's... really angry."

Foeslayer swallows like she's trying to hold the tears down but she's kind of failing to do so.

"He's just not really talking," I add, shifting my wings nervously. "What about you? How are you doing?"

She shrugs, not even making the effort to fake a smile. "I guess my heart's still beating."

"I don't think Darkstalker 's been sleeping," I add, mostly just to fill the silence.

Foeslayer nods. "Yeah. Me neither."

"Is Whiteout—"

"Painting a lot. Hiding in her room. She barely talks anymore."

"This must be really rough."

"Yeah. I guess I'm a widow now." She laughs ruefully. "Is... it will get better, right?" She looks down quickly. But I can spot the glistening tears in her eyes.

It takes me a second to realize what she's asking. I hesitate, mouth hanging open. "I... that's a complicated question. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. The futures aren't one solid pathway. I didn't have any idea this was going to happen. It's more like... one massive web of possibilities, cause and effect, and--no one can control that. No one can control your future but you."

"Really? How much of a choice was it that Arctic killed himself, Clearsight? I didn't consciously... okay, well, maybe I could have fixed it. But I didn't. I didn't... I couldn't... see, this is where it all falls apart." She closes her eyes like the world hurts less in darkness. "What about you and Darkstalker?" I can tell she's trying to distract me. "The wedding is only a couple months away—"

"We'll be okay," I promise, even though I'm not really sure that's true.

"Really? Promise me?"

"Nothing is certain. But... he... he's... I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can."

"I can live with it if I never get through this," Foeslayer says quietly. "But I can't live with it if I have to watch my dragonets be broken by it."

"I know. I get it."

Foeslayer raises her eyebrows. "You're not a mother."

"I've had visions about being one."

"Really?"

"Darkstalker didn't tell you?"

"No."

"We have names," I say quietly, the ghost of a smile curling up across my face. "Picked out. Already. He wants to name one of our dragonets after you."

"I'm really happy for you." Her voice goes thick.

She takes a deep breath, wiping her eyes quickly, even though there are no tears to be erased there. "The dragon Darkstalker's told you about isn't... he wasn't the one who I loved. He was just a shell. I can't watch that happen all over again. I think that was part of why he disapproved so much of you."

"What was he like?" I feel like crying, but I'm too tired for that right now.

"He'd use his magic to—make me anything." I can tell that she's really trying to pull herself together, but it's really not working out. "And he made promises. And flirted with me. He was... the kind of dragon in a romance scroll. The kind who acts like he'll always be on your side. And he made me laugh. He made me feel crazy and powerful and beautiful. I just don't understand—I don't understand how everything can break so fast. How that dragon can turn against you." She sighs. "Maybe it was inevitable."

"He sounds a lot like Darkstalker," I say, quietly.

She pauses. Swallows. Takes a deep breath.

"He was, when we met. I... I hope you know how happy I am for you. Both of you."

"Thank you."

I wish this could be a normal conversation. The kind of conversation a normal daughter-in-law has with her husband-to-be's mother. I get caught up in pretending for a second, before Foeslayer says, "Clearsight. Please be careful. I'm... I'm worried about him."

"I... Me too. And I will be."

She touches my arm, smiling weakly. "And... take care of yourself. This must be hard for you, too. It's not your fault."

I raise one eyebrow. "Same goes for you."

"Thank you." I can hear in her voice she's getting all weepy again.

And maybe it's awkward, since I don't know Foeslayer that well. But in that moment, I don't even care.

I wrap my wings around her, and I cling. I cling to her.