Summer Promise || Nathan Sykes

Chapter Twenty Two

Nathan and I hadn’t spoken since that night. What could I say? I’d messed up big time. He’d lost his sisters, his girlfriend. And me too, all because of my selfishness. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now. Was I meant to just get on with my life as if nothing happened? Because that seemed pretty unfair considering the recent happenings.

I stared at my phone which was about thirty centimetres away from me. I had to at least try, right? So I picked up the phone and unlocked it. My hands were shaking as I saw Nathan’s name in my contacts. All I wanted was to hold him and tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to kiss away his pain and make it seem like things were okay for a little while.

I brought the phone to my ear and with every ring I swear my heartbeat sped up. Luckily for me, it went to voicemail. I cleared my throat just before the beep. “Hi, it’s me. I really can’t find the words to say right now.” I hung up. I didn’t know what to say.

Five minutes later, I tried again. “Sorry.”

And again. “I love you.”

And again. “Nathan, I know that I’m the last person you want to talk to right now. I know that I messed up big time. But I’m sorry. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I would give anything to hold you and tell you that it’ll be okay. Because nothing could be that bad as long as you were by my side.” I let out a sob I didn’t know I was holding in. “I’ve never loved anyone before. I didn’t know if love was real. But I remember the moment when you changed all that. I remember the moment I fell in love with you.” I took a deep breath then continued. “I just…I want you to know that no matter what…I will always remember you.” I hung up the phone and held it against my chest as I sobbed. I’d never lost anyone before. And I think it’s one of those things that you can never understand unless it happens to you. But it hurts so much.

I decided that crying wouldn’t help the situation so I went into the bathroom to recompose myself. Once I’d washed my face and sorted myself out, I went into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. It seemed oddly quiet considering Jake and April had stayed over at my flat last night.

I walked down the hall to the spare room where Jake usually stayed. I knocked on the door and entered. “Do you want a cup of t…” I stopped in my tracks as I stared at the sight in front of me. Jake and April were cuddled up in the bed of the spare room. “Shit,” Jake cursed as he sat up, the duvet falling down to reveal his unclothed torso. “I-I-I,” I stuttered but for the second time today I found myself lost for words.

I marched back down the hall and into the kitchen where I got myself a glass of water. I rested against the counter as I took a sip from it. Jake came into the kitchen, buttoning up his jeans. “Lilia, it was a mistake,” he told me. “Honestly, I don’t want to hear it,” I replied. I was angry. How could they be so stupid?

April came into the kitchen next with one of Jake’s t-shirts on. It made me feel sick. “We were drunk,” she said. “I’d just like to point out, Jake, you have a girlfriend and when she finds out, she will most likely break up with you,” I told him but he shook his head. “She’s not going to find out,” he said. “Wanna bet?” I asked bitterly. “You wouldn’t tell her,” he challenged. “I would.”

I glared at April and said, “So what does that make you? A home wrecker, cheater...slut.” I was furious. “Lilia! I know you’re upset but,” he started but I interrupted, “You think I’m upset because of this? No, I’m angry because I needed you both. I love Nathan and I needed you to be here for me, to help me get through this!”

“We’ve always been here for you and we still are,” Jake told me. “I don’t want to hear it.” I marched into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I realised I was shaking with anger.

After I’d calmed down I sat down on my bed and picked up my phone. I had a text from Nathan. My heart skipped a beat.

We need to talk.