Summer Promise || Nathan Sykes

Epilogue

We need to talk.

How was I supposed to interpret that? There was an infinite number of meanings running through my mind, though only one stood out amongst the others. He was obviously going to tell me that it wasn’t going to work, as much as I hoped he wouldn’t.

My hands were shaking so much that the phone fell from my hands, tumbling over in the air, and landing face down on the floor. I gasped for breath, bending over to pick it up once more. The screen had shattered, making the words blurry. Cursing under my breath, I turned it off and tossed the phone towards my bed.

As I headed for my jacket, April caught hold of my wrist. I pulled my hand away from hers, turning to glare at her. She had changed her clothes and cleaned up, fortunately. However, I was not going to forgive her for simply taking off Jake’s shirt.

“Lilia, please listen-“

“No! I will not listen!” I snapped, the sharpness of my voice shocking me. “I don’t want to hear about you and Jake. Get together, for all I care! I was relying on you to be there for me! Instead, you jump into bed together!” Tears welled up in April’s eyes, her lower lip wobbling as I continued. “What happened between Nathan and I really hurt me! The two of you could have at least waited until I was feeling better!” My voice lowered to a hiss as a singular tear rolled down April’s cheek. “Have a great time together while I’m gone.”

With that, I tore the door open and pulled my jacket on frustratedly, screaming when I couldn’t get my arm through the hole. So many emotions were running through me. Anger, guilt, heartache. I felt sick and my palms were sweaty, beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Before heading to Nathan’s place, I decided to head to the beach, where I had found him that night. When the water touched my feet, I came to a halt. Tears made their way down my face as I cried for Ruby and Tilly, as I cried for what Nathan and I once had.

 “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. If only I’d realised.” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. My knees buckled and I fell down, my legs sinking into the soft sand. Hopefully no one would be walking along the beach at this time. “Forgive me. I wish I’d asked him why he didn’t come before accusing him! I’m sorry, Ruby. I’m sorry, Tilly. And I’m so sorry, Nathan.” I wailed, my voice wavering. 

I'd dried my face and composed myself, preparing myself to see Nathan. My mind raced with thoughts, thoughts about what he might say, or what might happen. There were footsteps coming towards the door, so I took a deep breath and tried to straighten my back.

"Nathan, hi." I greeted, attempting to send him a small smile when he opened the door. His expression remained the same. All he did was move aside so that I could head inside. The awkwardness in the air was undeniable, was so thick that my chest felt tight and I quietly gasped for breath.

"Thanks for coming over." Nathan's voice was nonchalant, repeating itself in my mind. It amazed me how he could be so calm, how he could remain emotionless despite everything. "Sit down." I did so, taking a seat on the love seat, expecting Nathan to sit down beside me. Instead, he sat down in a single chair, quite far away from me. "We need to clear things up before the end of summer. So I decided that I would call you over here, to explain what I want face to face."

My hands were clasped together in my lap, sweaty and clammy. "And what do you want?" I asked him, my voice barely a whisper. When I raised my gaze to look at him, he avoided my eyes. It was as if Nathan was trying to look anywhere but at me.

"I don't want to see you again," he said. I choked. My heart broke in two and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "It may seem drastic, but it's for the best. It's best if we leave here and forget about each other. I've already deleted your number from my phone, so you should go ahead and delete mine." His words were registering in my mind, but I could no longer see anything. There was a massive hole forming in my chest and I felt sick, dizzy. "It's been fun, Lilia, but it can't continue." The way he said my name sounded forced, as if he could not bear to say it.

"No."

"Excuse me?" Nathan's voice rose, before he resumed his calmness. "Lilia, I don't want to see you anymore!"

I stood up, my fists clenched and tears streaming down my face. I inhaled deeply. "But I still want to see you! Nathan, I know I made a mistake. I'm sorry! I should have been there for you and I shouldn't have yelled at you." Nathan looked away from me, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw. I continued, regardless. "I wish I could go back and undo what happened, but I can't. Nathan, we can start over and-"

"I don't want to start over!" Nathan cried, his voice bouncing off of the walls. "I just can't forget about that! My sister's died, Lilia! And where were you?" He paused. "You were busy partying! And then you came and yelled at me because I didn't show up! That's out of order and unforgivable!"

"I didn't know!"

"That doesn't matter, Lilia!" Nathan spun round to face me, his lips drawn back in a snarl and his eyes dark with fury. The sight made me cower away from him. I suddenly felt small. I didn't want to be involved in this argument and I was beginning to wish that I hadn't come over. "I can't forgive you for that."

My vision was blurry, due to the tears that were welling up in my eyes. "Nathan, please-"

"Get out." He ordered, balling his hands into fists and turning away from me once more. My mouth hung open, my eyes wide, as I stared at him. What had I been expecting? Had I been secretly hoping that he would forgive me? I had tricked myself into thinking that I was living in a fantasy world, where Nathan could easily forgive me and we could get back on track. 

"Nathan, don't do this." I wailed, the corners of my lips pulling down in a frown. A sob rose in my throat and I fought to hold it back; I didn't want to appear weak in front of him. Nathan shook his head.

"Leave, Lilia. Now." He hissed, causing me to take a step back. I opened my mouth, before thinking better of it and turning away. Trudging towards the door slowly, I slung my arm over my torso, covering my mouth with my other hand. The sob that I had been holding back finally made itself known, but I flung the door open and hurried out before Nathan could see me break down.

I ran. I ran towards my car, sobbing and crying. The door flew open and I climbed inside, hitting the driver's wheel frustratedly. Hot, salty tears streamed down my cheeks, rolling down to my chin and dripping on to my chest. My eyes soon became red and puffy, my chest rising and falling as I gasped for breath.

I'd never been one to properly cry over anything. Usually when I cried, it was never that bad. That time there was a huge hole in my chest, right where my heart should be. Strangled sobs kept making their way out of my mouth and echoing around my car. I could no longer see anything and I didn't want anyone to see me.

Jamming my keys into the ignition, I started up the engine and began driving. I knew it was a bad idea, but I had to get away from Nathan. When I pulled on to the road, I found that it was incredibly hard to see. I accidently pulled on to the wrong road, which led high up into the mountains. As I continued to drive, I began to see blues, greens, purples and yellows all fading into one another.

There was a huge bend, one which I almost didn't see coming. I slid round, crashing into a heap of rocks and sand. A muffled scream passed my lips as I was flung forward, the seat belt tight on my chest and the air bag blowing up in my face. 

Everything hurt. I was blinded by the pain and the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. However, I didn't call for help. I didn't try to grab my phone and call April and Jake. Instead, I sat there and cried into the air bag. My legs hurt, my arm hurt, my stomach hurt and my throat was sore. I could taste blood and there was something warm on my hand, but I still didn't want anyone to come for me. 

I didn't want anyone to see me in that state.

So I sat there, crying and heaving, sobbing and panting. Nobody came for me. My phone rang more than a few times, indicating that April and Jake had noticed my absence.

As the time ticked by, the tears didn't stop. They never faltered. I just kept crying and hurting, until I finally felt sleep tugging at me. My eyes kept drifting shut, the tears still slowly rolling down my face. I tried not to give in to it, to tell sleep to stay away. My mother had always told me never to fall asleep if you had recently injured your head, but I couldn't help it. When my eyelids closed, I didn't try to open them again.