troglodytic

3

he dropped a note. michael left me a note the first time i had him over, just highschool boys messing around. back then, i always laughed harder than ever before because, michael being around brought the color to my life.

every single second i'm alone, i keep trying to tell myself that it's not my fault. though i know that it isn't true because, if i never picked the note off of the ground, we would have never gotten as close to each other. he would be alive and well.

i make an attempt at convincing myself that he loved me. why would he leave a note basically asking if the feeling was mutual, if he didn't?

once he left my place that day, i don't like to think that he 'friend zoned' me. we agreed having a relationship at such a young age wasn't the most practical idea. to my suprise, he still hung around, waiting until we could be together.

in limerence
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"ever since the funeral, he has been a complete mess!", my mother belted, still fuming.

"we may not have the money to pay for a doctor to confirm it, but there is something seriously wrong with luke.", she roared one last time, at my father.

"we can't keep living like this,", my father coldly stated while gazing directly into my mothers eyes and banging his fist on the wood of the table.

most of the night has been blurry but, not a single tear has fell. too empty for emotions. too numb.

michael used to apologize for talking about his feelings, whenever he had he chance to. he didn't want to sound like he was over reacting or pleading for attention. i think i would have ever understood that if i hadn't lost him.

there were a lot of things i didn't understand about him. he was always trying to make himself seem 'smooth' around me, although his actions showed otherwise.

this one time michael decided to throw rocks at my window. little did he know, throwing rocks at someone's window only works in the movies. explaining to my parents, why i had a broken window was quite the challenge. he made everyday like a movie. it was a different chain of theatrical events every single day. that's not something that everyone has the ability to do.

seeing older people in public makes me wonder how they've lived that long repeating the same schedule every day. it's sickening. mikey doesn't have to worry though. he got set free.

i am more than doubtful that i will make it that far into a life without him.

A/N

to clear up any confusion, when luke claims he "talks" to michael, he is initially talking to himself.