Two Hearts Collided

Chapter 8: Relationship troubles

It's been seven months. We haven't had sex. We haven't kissed or hugged since that day. We left America after a month and now we take a plane all the time and we sleep in hotels.

Everything is tense. We're all snippy.

I'm so scared I feel like I'm gonna puke. Singing Glitter In The Air makes me want to be very clingy but I can't do it. I feel unloved by the world. We're in a hotel right now. The whole room is tense.

I have never wanted my mother here to tell me everything will be okay more than I do in this moment.

Everything I do I get yelled at by someone. Carter doesn't defend me. Hell, he's the one snapping at me sometimes.

I start rubbing my temples. I grab my inhaler before an asthma attack starts. Everyone looks at me to see if they need to call an ambulance. They don't even look like they care.

We're in Brazil.

I calm down the asthma and stand up.

All eyes are on me, and then the dam breaks. I grab my phone and cover my mouth with my hand as I start to cry. Everyone sits up, alert. I slam the bathroom door and lock it.

I text Mom.

Me: I can't do this anymore. Don't call me but I feel like my whole world is just shattering.

Her reply is immediate.

Mom: why? What happened?

Me: everyone hates each other. We yell at each other all the time. Carter snaps at me. I snap at him. We're just fighting and I can't keep doing it. I feel like everyone hates me. I feel unwanted. I want to go home but I still have four more months.

Mom: I know it's hard now but it's going to be okay.

Me: Carter asked me if I wanted a divorce last time. I'm scared-no, terrified that he's going to just file for it.

Mom: I don't know what to tell you sweetie. I think you need to talk to everyone about this.

Me: I'm scared to talk to them. They don't even care anymore

Mom: it's okay. You can do this. I'm here for you no matter what.

I don't answer her. Everyone is demanding to know what's wrong.

I get up and rip open the bathroom door. "I can't keep doing this." I say, and I walk out of the bathroom. Everyone looks at me in confusion.

"Doing what?" Carter asks.

"I can't keep living like this! All we do is snap at each other! I want to go home! Last time you and I did this, you asked if I wanted a divorce!"

Silence.

"I'm terrified that you're just going to file it and not tell me. I can't keep pretending."

"You say all of that like its our fault." Alec says.

And just like that, we're in a giant band fight.

"She was just saying what she felt because we were all demanding." Lucy says.

"Whatever. This is bullshit. All of us want to go home, but we're not just sitting here crying about it."

"She's not even crying because of that!" Ryan snaps. "She's crying because of her problems with Carter!"

"We all have relationship problems!"

Everyone starts yelling and I just sit there and watch everything fall apart. I stand up and pull sweats over my spandex and I pull a hoodie over my tank top. I put my hair in a messy bun and grab my suitcase. I shove everything that belongs to me into it and stand up.