Phoenix

Dean and Amphetamine

Sam Winchester's P.o.v

"Rowena, we need to talk. Your name has been appearing in a lot of our hunts recently. Just wanted to talk." I sighed and ended the voicemail. 

Voicemail Sent. 

The automatic voice replied. Rowena needed to apply answers to this problem. Her name as been coming up in a lot of the cases we deal with know. Mostly witches. I just hope she's not planning another Mega Coven.

I don't quite understand what's been happening. First, Cas disappeared. Or killed, if you asked Dean. We went on a hunt, and then, he was gone. He didn't call or even text. It was dry for a couple of days. The days stretched longer, and we concealed our heads with hunts. When we finally glanced up, it had been a year. He was gone, but I still had confidence that he was somewhere.

Then, the hunts became relentless and ruthless. We were always on the road, never really slowing down. Case after case. Vampires, skinwalkers, and djinn. There were numerous of them. All of them were unusual. Sloppy with their work. Other times, they were very secretive about feeding, but these weren't. They did it in public. Taking men, devouring them alive. Not waiting for anything to happen. Almost like they weren't frightened of someone coming for them.

Lastly, Alicia. What are the odds of us coming in contact with a phoenix, who doesn't know what she is? Does it seem weird that she didn't know what she was before now? Based on what I know now, Alicia had a normal life. She was in college, had a job, and an apartment. Life was great. One thing happens, and now, her life is upside down somewhere. 

I wonder who that sounds like. 

It's only 2:30. I stared at my watch and groaned. I still wasn't tried, and it didn't help that I had a cup of hidden Starbucks in my room. I drank half of the glass. 

I was surrounded by books. Late night studying for no reason. Listening to some of the tapes the Men of Letters left. I never seem to finish them all. Every time I finish one box, another appears. Old documents of this place are scattered everywhere. Every case they worked, every monster killed, and every bit of information they gain over the years. 

It was impressive that they kept a perfect record of everything that seemed to happen within the last few years they had left. It was still new to me that this was my legacy.  Dean and I's legacy, and to think that we had nothing to our name but a car. 

"Sam!" My name was being screamed from the other side of the door. My eyes widen to the familiarity of the voice. Leaping out of bed, I approach the door. I swung it opened and raced to Dean's room. 

He was having his nightmares again.

I opened his door and ran to his bed. 

"Dean," I called out to him. "Listen to me. Follow my voice." I said, clearly. Dean groaned in pain. His body twisted and turned. Left and right. Sweat was dripping from his brow. I've never seen him like this. This was new. 

"Sam." Jack was now at the door. I looked back at him. Alicia was there too. Her startled expression showed every emotion I was feeling now. "I'll get the usual." Jack said before running off to the kitchen. Alicia raced to the other side of the bed. She glanced up at me before storing her attention on Dean. "What's happening?" She asked. Her voice was barely there. She was terrified. Afraid of the scene that was unwinding in front of her. 

"I'll tell you when I stop this." Dean let out another scream. This was hair-raising. "Get it out of me, Sam!" He shrieked even louder. "Jack, hurry!" Alicia shouted. She was worried about Dean. I was worried about Dean, but at this moment, I seemed lost. I didn't know what to do. Dean was screaming for me to help, but I couldn't. I didn't know how to. 

"Sam, what do I do?" Alicia asked. Just then, Jack rounded the corner with supplies. His hands shooked with anxiety. His eyes darted back and forth Alicia and me. "Hold him down. Jack, get the shot." I tell Jack. He nods and Alicia does too. She grabs the blanket and places it under both of hands. She, then, lays the blanket on top of Dean's arm. She was Dean from her touch. Afraid that she might burn him.

"What shot is this?" She askes. She was holding Dean down fairly well, considering she had no meat or muscle on her bones. "Now, Jack." I didn't mean to ignore her question, but the longer we wait, the worse it will get. Jack approached with a needle. He paused for a little but continued. He pressed the needle Dean's skin. He let out another blood-curling scream. Jack pushed the needle into Dean's arm harder. When it was in, he let the drug slip into Dean's veins. 

We both let go, Alicia and me. I let out a sigh and fell back on my knees. "Thanks, guys," I mumbled. "Really couldn't do it without you." I said. Jack replied, "That's what I'm here for." He smiled and waited by the door. Alicia stood beside him. They smiled at each other before looking back at me. 

"Amphetamine. It was amphetamine." I finally answered Alicia.

She looked almost surprised. "You gave Dean Speed?" She questioned. I nodded. "It's the only thing that works because we ran out of Modafinil," I explained. "God, Dean." I whispered to myself. I didn't want to use Speed, but it was the only thing we had left. It was a dangerous game to play with it, but it was to help Dean. I hope it helped him.

"Does this always happen? The nightmares?" She asked again. Her glasses were to the bridge of her nose. The bag under eyes seemed to crease from the first day I met her. I only hoped that she was ok with the fiery animal inside of her.

"Just recently," She nodded. "Dean's gonna be okay. This always happens with us. Nightmares of things we can't control. It's fine." I reassured her. She let a small smile develop on her face before she turned back to Jack.

"We'll go make breakfast." He said. Lighting the mood as usual. "Jack, it's 3 something in the morning." Alicia said. That tiny smile was still there. "I know." Jack told Alicia's hand and pulled her down the hall. They were cute together. like they've know each other their whole life.

I turned my attention back to Dean. He was moving anymore, but his chest lifted and fell in a rhythmic pattern.

I sighed.

"I know that you don't answer me, but this isn't about me. Dean needs help, Cas. He does, and I don't know how to fix this. We need you. Dean needs you. The least you can do is just check on him. I don't know where you are or why you left, but it doesn't matter anymore." I buried my hands in my head. Tears were welling in my eyes.

"I can't do this along. Amen." I finished praying and got up. I sniffed and looked back down at Dean. He was still breathing, which was a good side, but a part of me felt like Dean was dying. Not from the shot, but from the nightmares. He wasn't himself anymore. He was jumpy and distant. It was rare now to hear him laugh. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he wasn't ok. He just denied it.

"Please, Cas." I whisper to no one because no one would answer. Just like all the other times I prayed. No one answered me then, and no one will answer me now.

For the first time since Dad left Dean and me, I felt alone. A strange, yet familiar feeling washing over my bones and slipping into my blood, causing ever inch if me to hopeless.

I breathed out.

Author's note

thank you to all the wonderful people reading this book. it's a struggle, but its fun, at least

new chapters are in the works and bonus chapters too!

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