Donald Trump is the governor of Mainef who aspires for greatness, but he is stopped by two things; his wife, Martha, and his president, Barack Obama.
Vladimir Putin is the president of New Russia, a country founded from the remains of Canada.
Americ...
My name is Donald, Donald Trump. I am the governor of Maine and this is my journal. This entry won't be very long because my wife will come home soon.
I just took a pregnancy test. In ten minutes the results will be back. I am terrified. What if I become a father-mother? What will Martha think? Surely she'll support me, she is my wife after all. Are we even ready for a child?
I've been married to her for seven years, can you believe that? I can't. I met her when I beat her in the governor election and she was a wonderful sport about it. I didn't even know she could talk at first. After all, it isn't EVERY DAY you meet a talking dog!
Sure our relationship gets LOTS of criticism... I mean, she's a dog! And I'm a human! But love is love. No matter the gender, no matter the political views, no matter the species, no matter the age. Just today Obama was on the news dissing interspecies relationships... Honestly. It's 2019 and we should be learning to be much more accepting of this type of stuff, you know?
And more children have been calling my hair a toupee, and making fun of my tan... It just isn't nice at all! I don't think there's any problem with my hair or skin tone, and Martha agrees.
Speaking of Martha... Speaking of my pregnancy test.. It's been ten minutes. I oughtta check.
Donald Trump's POV:
I carefully clicked my pen shut and closed my journal, gingerly placing it in my underwear drawer, where Martha would never think to look. I stood and walked to the bathroom where my pregnancy test awaited, closing my eyes in anticipation as I picked up the stick.
I didn't want to open my eyes. I really did not. But Martha was going to be home soon and I just had to know if I was pregnant with her dog baby.
I forced my eyes open and looked at the test. At first I could not comprehend what I was seeing. I blinked fast to see if I was hallucinating, pinched the skin on my cheek tightly in case I was dreaming.
On that stick showed two parallel red lines.
I immediately dropped the stick, which clattered on the tile floor. I took a moment to get myself together before I picked it up and properly disposed of it.
Just in time, too, I heard Martha call, "DONNYUMPKINS MUNCHKIN????" and immediately ran out.
"Oh Martha! I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, you kinky little man!"
Maybe you are wondering why all my nicknames are calling me short and actually it's because contrary to popular belief, Martha is not a normal sized dog. She is actually ten feet tall.
"So, Martha, want to watch a movie?"
"Yes of course! What do you have in mind?"
"I-I was thinking my favorite.. Triumph of the Will."
"Oh of course, I've never seen that one!"
So the two settled down in front of their TV and put on Donald's favorite nazi propaganda film.
About halfway through Martha looked at Adolf with a frown.
"What's wrong babe?" She asked him.
"Well.. I, uh..."
"Hold that thought- I have to use the bathroom real quick."
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