vices : a brallon story

prologue

triggers: substance abuse, cheating

《brendon's pov》

[cape town, south africa]
i was walking back from a small night out with spencer, for we had gone to get some drinks. he went back to jon's room to do whatever and i smiled. i was tired and wanted to regress and couldn't wait to see my fiance.

but the second I walked into the room, i wish i never did.

i didn't yell or physically get involved. instead, i walked to the side of the bed and whimpered.
"r-r-ryan?" my voice cracked as i prayed it was a nightmare. i looked down as he kept thrusting into a girl who kept moaning his name, her hands in his hair as she held onto him. the sweat beaded down both of their bodies and i could tell they had been at it for a long time. no alchohol was to be in sight and he looked up at me.

he was sober.

my fiance.

the one who literally last night said he'd never leave me if it was the last thing he did,

the one who dealt with me in little space,

held me through panic attacks,

somehow made me believe it was all okay,

was cheating on me. while he was sober.

"s-seeing as you're busy, i-im leaving. goodbye ryan.." venom laced my lips as I tried to be big and strong. but the fact that he kept thrusting, the fact that he kept going.. i grabbed my stuff and left.

i never looked back.

i ran, my heart sinking to my stomach as i replayed the scene in my head. i didn't know where to go as i ran until my little body could not take it. but i kept running. everything i had even eaten that night came up. everything burned. i had barely made it to spencer's room when i finally broke on the floor.

of course jon and spencer were doing the do when i knocked.

i felt numb when i told them the story.

spencer held me close, letting me cry into him for as long as i needed to. jon ran off to go see what had happened. but he didn't come back.

spencer and i spent the entire night crying, for he was fearing the worst and i had just had my heart shattered. no matter how much i cried, it didn't get better.

jon didn't come back til the next morning, along with a sorrow-filled ryan.

"b-baby.." he whispered softly to me, in a tone that was only meant for me. but i didn't give in. instead, i looked to jon and spencer. the look of hurt and betrayal was written all across spencer's face as he backed away. both our fears were confirmed.

i looked my best friend in the eye, then my ex-fiance.
"get out. don't come back to these rooms until 2. we are leaving." i growled, not meaning to be so aggressive, but the damage was done. i was broken and so was spencer.

so much so that we left cape town that night, heading back home.
i left that apartment.
spencer left his.
we got a new one together.
i went out to get drunk 6 times a week, hooking up with someone new each night.
spencer found a new crowd of people.

it was like that for months until i had a friend over one night.
not just any friend, but an old friend.

dallon.

he took both of my hands and gave it to me straight, looking me in my eyes as he let out a disappointed sigh.
"just because you're heartbroken, doesn't mean you should be doing this. you havent eaten in weeks, smell like alcohol, cigarettes, weed and sex, not ot mention you haven't showered in god knows how long. you need to fucking stop."

i knew he was right but i couldn't do it on my own.