The thoughts of a million

Everything Alright? Far from it.

When a child is known for holding still,
But can't hold still.
When a child is known for not holding still,
But holds still.
Even if it's just for a second.
If you look close enough,
You can see that they're about to break,
Fall apart and shatter.
But if you blink, you'll think you imagined it.
But you didn't.
Inside they're head,
They're mind is racing.
Going through all the what if? scenarios,
Thinking about that time when you messed up 6 years ago and wondering if you really forgave them.
They're mentally giving themselves crap.
They're torturing themselves.
You wanna know why they don't talk to you much?
Well, it's because they don't really trust you.
Wanna know why they're on their electronics so much?
They're helping someone who needs it better then they do.
They're talking to their best friend, trying to not let the tears fall.
Wanna know why they shut down?
They know they can't win against an argument with you.
It's the only way they can cope.
Wanna know why they snapped?
They can't take it anymore.
They are being a human being with emotions that you just threw away.
Treat them like a human, and they'll open up to you.
They'll give you a glimpse at their personal Hell.
Even just for a moment.
Wanna know why they don't open up to you?
They can't. They don't trust you.
They try to, but they don't know what to say,
How you'll react.
They're scared of you.
They observe every detail about you, they admired you at one point.
But now they don't.
They don't even try.
They take the beating silently.
And you ask if they're ok,
And they say "I'm fine".
They aren't.
They're dying.
They just don't trust you enough to say what their thinking.