Will Newman's last days FIVE FEET APART

Every Breath You Take

(yes, the title is a reference to the song by Police) hiii there. So I was a huge fan of Claire, a girl with cf that had a YouTube channel and she died almost a yr ago. So when a movie about cf came out and I found out she had helped with it... Lets say ive watched that thing over 20 times. Not kidding :) it inspired me a lot so Im writing a fic about now I guess. And since TODAY is my child Cole Sprouse's bday, I wanted to write about one of his characters. I think it's ridiculous to think that will survives this whole shit so... I'm just trying to make his last days bootiful. hope u like this!

..................................

Will's pov

I tried to regain my breath with difficulty. It was getting harder and harder to breathe lately. I was now completely dependent of my mobile respirator.

Still, it was nice being back in my old hospital room. I had come back to my old hospital as soon as Stella had left after getting her new lungs, no place like home.

I clutched the side of his bed, not wanting to disturb Barb again today, and continued to try to stop coughing, a sense of dizziness setting in slowly.

But Barb waltzed into my room anyway, she had started growing more and more alert of my state lately. It made sense. Everyday was worse than the last, I could barely leave my room now. Either she was paying more attention or she had superhuman hearing skills, which in my mind was perfectly plausible. She was too good to be real.

When a few minutes later she finally got me to stop choking, she sat down by my side, holding my hand.

"Oh, my boy." I could see that she was fighting the tears. Now that I wasn't endangering her beautiful protégée Stella, she had kinda developed a bit of love towards me. Actually, it may have been there since I saved Stella's life. Guess I'd be able to die a hero. "You're getting worse, Will." she muttered while squeezing my hand. Most nurses wouldn't speak about death with their patients, but Barb had understood pretty early that I wanted to embrace it. Maybe this way I'd be able to stop panicking every time the idea of dying crossed my mind. A prickling sensation started developing behind my eyes. Aren't heroes supposed to be tough?

"It's close, right?" I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Damnit. I never cried. I was tough. Feelings didn't get to me. No. But tears continued to slip out of my eyes and I could hear sobs coming out of my mouth. Barb was surprised by my sudden showing of weakness, but allowed herself to cry as well. At first I felt kind of disconnected from my sorrow, but seeing her express hers too, that struck a nerve.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't be meeting the end so soon." she whispered.

"I made it 18 years. I haven't given much to this world anyway." I closed my eyes. I had to keep myself under control.

"No!" Barb cleared the tears off of my face. "You're one of the most remarkable people I've ever met! With your drawings and your humor, and your big romantic gestures." she chuckled sadly, almost to let the tension out of her body.

"I did ONE big gesture. I didn't know it was gonna chase me forever" she laughed, but I wanted to do more than lift her mood. I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her. "Thank you for being here for me. I mean, I know you get payed for it, but..." I mumbled.

"I know." Barb rubbed her thumb on my cheek softly. "I'm going to miss you, my boy. Just... Try to hold on as long as you can. For me. For you. Squeeze every drop of life as hard as you can. The day you leave this world will be a sad one."

I laughed. "Sure."

Barb looked at me, seriousness oozing out of her eyes. "Will. I mean it. First, Poe left us. Then Stella almost did, too. Thank God she got her lungs. But now you're leaving me, too. My most beautiful kids are going away."

"Barb. At least Stella is alive." I said.

"Thank the Lord for that." she put her hand on her heart. "You should talk to her, by the way. She would want to see you one last time." Here she was again. These past weeks she'd been slipping in little requests into our conversations to try to get me to see Stella. It was a lost cause, but she didn't seem to care.

"No. NOPEEE." I denied the fact that she was right. "She would get her heart broken, again. She's probably already over me. I saw her YouTube channel. She's traveling the world, going to amazing places. She looks like she's having fun." I didn't want to talk about her anymore, it hurt too much. Barb would notice my intentions, but I tried to change the topic. "I wonder what it would be like, traveling the world." Counteracting with something depressing usually worked, even if I knew it was unfair to the other person. Maybe I wasn't gonna die as a hero after all, I didn't think I was a good enough person to be able to bear such a title.

"I'm sorry you never got to see it, child. But Stella is. If you see her, maybe she can tell you all about it." Barb proposed, not having been fooled by my antics.

I sighed. "But I won't see her. And even if I wanted to, she's not here. She's in Hawaii or something like that."

Right?