billy hargrove imagines

stargazing

summary: the one where he says those three little words.

word count: 1,007

══════════════════

billy didn't usually talk about how he felt. if anything, he held his emotions close to his chest. he'd learned early on that telling people how he felt just led to a dead end. he was sure nobody cared if he was angry or upset anyway. he was sure they didn't care about him.

that changed when he met you. you were bright and charismatic and he was completely enraptured. he'd never met a soul so confident in themself; someone so sure they were doing the right thing. it was nearly the opposite of how he felt almost all the time. something about you left him stumbling over his words and lacking his usual charm. he just couldn't understand how you got him so flustered, so off guard.

dates with you were simple and sweet. you didn't ask for much from him, if you asked for anything at all. you felt like a gulp of fresh air to him. he didn't feel the burden of having to put on a mask to try and impress you. he'd shown every part of himself to you and you'd taken him in all the same.

one time he asked a simple question loaded with more self-loathing than you'd ever thought a single person could feel. "why me?"

it had taken you aback. the thought that billy hated himself so deeply he couldn't even accept the fact someone cared about him. needless to say, those two words felt like a punch to the gut. "because i love you."

that response had left him stunned in place like a frozen statue. the last time he'd heard those words was years ago in california. he didn't except anyone to ever say it to him again. but you had. he never said them back. he was too afraid of the weight of it. the meaning of those eight letters left him feeling like a young boy cowering in a corner because he was scared of the dark. no matter how much he begged his mouth to form those three little words, they couldn't. the fear left them locked in place.

despite never hearing him say it back, you never once made him feel rushed. and he appreciated that. he appreciated everything about you. the curves and valleys of your face, the shine behind your eyes that made them look like the brightest stars in the night sky, the way your arms held him like he was the most fragile thing in the world. he'd do anything for you, and you knew it. but you never asked him for a thing.

he couldn't help but admire your form as you were laid back on the hood of his car. a cigarette dangled between your lips, the embers quietly lighting a small portion of your face underneath the dark sky. stargazing was something you often did on dates. it had originally begun so billy could avoid his father, but now he only wanted to see your eyes twinkle as you looked up into the pretty bright lights dotting the sky.

"like what you see?" your voice held a hint of a tease as you glanced at him. he was leaned against the side of the camaro, looking more distant than ever.

"hm?" he hummed.

you pulled the cigarette away from your mouth and blew out smoke. his eyes focused in on your lips that trailed with gray.

"you're looking at me like i'm a piece of meat." you smirked. "not that i'm all that offended or anything. i know i'm hot stuff."

he cleared his throat and turned his eyes upwards to look into the inky black sky. "i'm just thinking," he replied.

"does it hurt?" another light jab. he couldn't help the smile that painted his features.

"thinking about us never hurts," he countered.

you took another drag. "come on now. don't get too sappy on me. you've got a reputation to uphold, and you wouldn't want little old me to ruin it for you."

he shook his head slightly and shifted again to face you. "doesn't matter. i've got you."

your smirk turned to a genuine smile, the soft kind that billy melted for. "i think i'm turning you soft."

he let out a short huff through his nose. "maybe."

you leaned towards him on your elbows. his gaze flicked between your eyes and your lips. he wanted to kiss you, bad.

"you okay?"

he didn't answer for a long while, opting to just stare at you. as far as he was concerned, staring at you was stargazing. you were brighter than anything he'd ever seen. he was more than okay at your side. he was great. he was perfect. he loved you more than he thought was possible. you were every star in the sky and more. you were the moon and the earth. and finally, after so long of wanting nothing more than to tell you how he felt, his mouth formed those three little words.

"i love you."

for a moment, just a fraction of a moment, you were frozen. your heart stopped and the blood rushed to your face, leaving it a rosy red color. you didn't expect such a strong reaction from hearing those words from him. it felt like your whole life you'd been starving and suddenly, you were full to the brim. pieces of you that you missed came back and you were whole.

before you could stop yourself, you'd jumped off the hood of his car and your arms were wrapped around his neck. your lips crashed into his unceremoniously, desperate for any contact. you felt his arms encircle your waist and pull you into him. you smiled into the sloppy kiss, feeling happier than humanly possible. billy hargrove loved you. you knew he did, but to hear him say it was something completely different.

you pulled away with shallow breaths. "i love you, too. i love you more than anyone ever. i swear i do."

he pressed another kiss to your lips. he loved you.