The slaves of Freetown

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

My eyes blur. One hand over the mouth, the other clutching my belly, I collapse completely. Tears rush behind my closed eyelids. My guilt crushes the complaints that I weakly opposed to Isaac. My responsibility even pushes me to convince myself that by chaining her ankles, I provided the little impulse that made the chair fall.

Nonetheless, the worst of all my crimes was that of leaving my Mistress in the hands of the Grinbergs. Her eyes distraught, bloody, no longer opposing any resistance to our relentless resolutions. I turn my head on the left, feeling the sudden presence of something behind me. I am too scared to accept it, but here she is. By my side, now stands an unpleasant, heavy form, a Form, without Mistress Salvi's attribute, if not her gaze. I read in it that I cannot escape it, never. She will befriend my shadow. She tried to introduce herself when I met Sonia, shyly. That impression of her that I tried to find in Sonia. Now, she has no reason to hide anymore; she sits proudly on top of the piles of sins I carry with me. All her hatred and resentment is pouring on us in her Form, in the shape of a jet of icy stones that hit us unceremoniously.

I pick up my phone, my whole body trembling. I resume the conversation, slowed down by the tears rolling down my cheeks, which I wipe away as I go down through the messages. Throughout the night, I analyze each speaker's word, reconstructing the exchanges as if they had all been by my side. When the first rays of the sun come to reflect on my screen, I am resolved. I rinse my face, and my eyes are dry, the right one even puffier. However, the edema is subsiding, and my skin is regaining its normal color. I get dressed up, taking the clothes that I arrived in from my bag. Then, I take out my charger and plug in my phone. I make the bed and arrange the room before going out. In the hallway, Celeste, littered on a ladder, is manipulating a small device.

"Hello, Kanoa. Miss Freeman is having breakfast in the living room."

I enter the kitchen and am greeted by the mournful look of my Mistress. Her smile, much less radiant than the previous days, quickly gives way to an exaggerated grimace.

"Why are you wearing these clothes?"

"I... I-I..."

I had everything prepared in my head. The way that I am going to tell her about Mistress Salvi and how she was killed. Nevertheless, facing her gaze, I lose my means. It is not just her who is looking at me. There is also the Form, which stands right behind my Mistress. She is counting on me, and she is waiting for my confession.

Mistress Freeman stares at me insistently, waiting for my answer, before the expression on her face changes radically.

"This is for our excursion of today! You're right; we'll pass the barrier of Freetown more discreetly!"

I have forgotten my commitments to her and her documentary. She is the one who must report me and hand me over to the police. In my plan, she has to play this role. However, with this delay, she is offering me an opportunity to say goodbye to my people and family.

"It is only a postponement," I try to convey to the Form who is gone again. I am not shying away. By the end of this day, I will be shedding the weight off my shoulders.

Mistress Freeman increases the volume of the television. CNN is again talking about the series of slave killings shaking the Freetown of Minneapolis City. My little bruised ego assumes: "Death follows me everywhere."

"We need to get the camera ready; I'll try to find an excuse to leave before this afternoon. Hide it in your bag."

"Can I ask for your permission to telephone Mistress?"

"Of course! And stop asking me such..."

I quickly go to my room. Celeste is no longer in the corridor. I confusedly search among my favorite contacts that of Ho-Jin, instead of calling him back directly. I dread a little to talk to him again. We almost left each other on a quarrel, and we are about to have the most difficult conversation of our lives. He picks up immediately.