12:35am
!!!!!!!! Trigger Warning !!!!!!!!
Please don't read if you're sensitive to rape and situations related to it!!
Please practice care with yourself, and if that's hard then know, I care for you and want the best for you <3
habits i shouldn't have
when i sleep, i keep one eye cracked open. so when you'd come in, i'd see you.
i can't sleep unless i'm covered, all the places you'd put your hands. the blanket my only protection.
when i roll over, i've learned to keep myself covered, even in deep sleep. automatic, instinctual, survival, even now.
i couldn't sleep with a light. because if i did i'd see your face and know more of what you'd do.
i couldn't sleep with my door open, it only made it easier for you. i still can't do it easily.
i'd sleep with music, so i couldn't hear the things you'd say. it's hard to sleep in silence, even now.
i don't know who i am because of you. these aren't me, they never should've been.
i'm growing up and away from you, yet you still linger. things shouldn't be this way.
–this is about you
