A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

37.

Song for this chapter - Raw by Daye Jack

Ignoring the latest news I've received, I spend the rest of the day with Jake.

We skate downtown, go to the rock wall where we watch the whales and dolphins, before getting take-away hot chips and sitting down at the beach.

The sun is shining, the breeze is cool and the boy I love is with me and no longer afraid of being together. Today is a good day. Except for the one, niggling thought of the fact that I'm possibly, most-definitely going to a different country for my entire senior year of schooling. And Jake is not going to handle it well.

This was something I wanted so much but never thought I'd achieve. Now, it's here, I got it and it's made everything... complicated. I don't want to lose Jake, but I know it would be the most incredible opportunity for me.

"That is the third sigh in twenty minutes," Jake points out. "What's on your mind?"

I half-shrug, reluctant to tell him because I don't want to ruin how perfect everything has been between us.

"Thinking of the future. Making me stressed."

"Why?" he asks. "We don't need to stress about that now. We've got time."

I lean my head onto his shoulder.

We really don't. Not anymore.

***

Ma blinks at me in surprise and Ellie stands there, her mouth in an O-shape.

"That's amazing!" Ma blurts at the same time Ellie squeals.

Ellie rushes around the kitchen bench to squash me into a rib-breaking hug. She squeezes one more time and I let out a groan.

"What an incredible opportunity!" she gushes. "Having that on your resume at such a young age would do wonders for you!"

"Yeah, it would," I agree.

"Why are you not screaming with joy?" she exclaims, reaching for my hands and shaking my arms. They flop like soggy noodles in her grip. "You've wanted this for so long. I remember helping you write the essay for it. We stayed up so many nights perfecting it. You worked so hard!"

"I know," I say and my voice is so flat it's hard to listen to.

"Cal?" Ma questions with concern. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Oh," Ellie says softly, an understanding look falling across her face. "Jake."

Ma begins to stammer words that blend together and don't make much sense, before she lets out a weird splutter sound.

"Please don't tell me you're not considering this once in a life-time opportunity for that boy," she manages to get out after a few painful moments. "Callum, you worked so hard for this."

"I love him." I whisper, my lower lip trembling.

Ellie makes a soft sound, touching my shoulder, as Ma frowns at me.

"It's only for a year. Not even, ten months, isn't it? Eleven? That's nothing. The time will go by in a blur!" she says. "You'll be back before you know it."

I hang my head, pathetic tears slipping down my cheeks.

"I don't want to leave him," I sob. "I've worked so hard to get us to where we are, it will ruin everything."