A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

18.

Jake's POV:

After my moment of weakness last night, I'm now more confused than ever.

Of course I want to be with Callum. I love him more than anything else in the world and it hurts me immensely not being with him. But how can I forgive him of this? Especially considering if it was me in the wrong, the reaction from Callum would be even worse.

Sighing, I close my eyes once more and try to think of ways to go about this predicament.

My door flying open startles me back to reality. Haze walks in and throws one of the lounge pillows at me.

"Ow," I complain.

"Get up."

"No."

"Come on, we're going for a run."

"Do I have to?" I whine.

"It's four p.m. and you haven't left your room. Come on."

Exhaling, I push to my feet. Doing anything right now seems like too much effort but I know it will make me feel better. I throw my hoodie over my head and my runners on my feet.

The fresh air hits my face with force and I take in a deep lungful.

Haze doesn't ask me if I want to talk about it and I'm glad. I would be more surprised if he did, really. I pick up a jog beside him and my body feels stiff from not having moved much today.

Haze takes me on a route I wasn't aware of and I let my eyes roam. The first half of the run is through a thick mass of trees with a narrow path, before we ended up back on the footpath. This leads us to an overpass that finishes at a beach.

We run down the sand and at this point, sweat is running down my forehead and back. I'm beginning to feel tired and it annoys me that Haze hardly looks puffed. Being too prideful to ask to slow down, I pick up the pace. Haze accepts the challenge and soon we're sprinting as hard as we can. Sand kicks up behind us. We reach the end where we can't run anymore and my legs give out shakily.

Haze finally looks how I feel. He collapses beside me and we both look up at the sky, struggling to control our breathing. I welcome the aching lungs and the burn my legs are feeling.

I glance to Haze, to see him studying me.

"Know your worth, brother," he says to me seriously. "But also know when it's time to listen to what your heart wants."

***

It's raining by the time we get home and I'm saturated. I'm only inside for a few moments before I turn back around. I don't let my mind overthink.

When I arrive at Callum's front door, water is dripping around me.

The door swings open. Callum looks adorable, dressed in skinny jeans and an oversized sweater. I then realise it's actually mine. Callum's eyes widen as he stares me in surprise. I had a missed call from him this morning, which I never returned.

His lips are parted, his hair messy, his eyes shining with hope. I need no further answers because this, right before me, is everything I want.

I wrap my hand around the back of his head and pull him to me. Our lips meet in a rush, warm, wet and slippery. His hands find my face as he kisses me back. I push him inside the apartment and kick the door closed behind me. He stumbles into his room and falls onto his bed, our kiss hardly breaking the entire time.

"I love you," he says to me, strong and firm, his eyes staring intensely into mine, seeking the answer from me that he was searching for last night.

"I love you," I confirm, before we completely lose ourselves to the other.

***

Last night we fell asleep, limbs tangled, after talking for hours. We didn't discuss anything serious, like we should have, but it was nice. I missed being here with him. It's the only thing in life that makes sense. That makes me actually happy.

"What changed your mind?" he finally asks, breaking through our bubble of let's-pretend-everything-is-fine.

"I missed you."

"I can't tell you how deeply I regret everything. I'm so sorry," he says in complete dejection. "You deserve much more than me. I'm not worthy of forgiveness and I would respect your decision if you can't get past this."

"I need to get past this because I can't do life without you."

"You haven't tried."

"Trust me, I have," I exhale, threading my fingers. "It's not something I want to try again."

"I won't ever do anything to hurt you like that again. I promise."

"Cal," I say, turning so that our eyes are locked on ours. "I forgive you, but don't you think, for one second, that you could ever do something like that to me again. Because no matter what, I will not forgive and forget. Ever. Again."

He nods, looking at me earnestly. "You won't have to."

"And I will never forget this. I will think about what you did to me, every day, for the rest of my life. But for now, I can't let the hole inside me get any bigger. You complete me and I want you. Let's just... move on."

"Okay," he smiles weakly at me.

He leans so that our foreheads are pressed together. I inhale his scent, the one I craved every moment we were apart.

In this moment, I realise, I would sell my soul to see this boy happy.

And that scares the hell out of me.

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What's your current read? And what's a favourite book you always recommend? :) I'm currently up to book four in The Selection series (loving it!!!) and a book I always recommend All The Missing Girls by Megan Miranda, which is a mystery/thriller about a girl whose best friend disappears.

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