trivia: cursed | BTS

Ear Fetish. Great.

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You were so starved for affection. You gobbled for it. Yearned to press someone's body against yours in an embrace. As a child, goodnight hugs and kisses had been the highlight. Casual touches and playful shoves from your childhood friends... you didn't know how much you missed physical contact until it was gone. Every time someone passed by you, you wanted desperately to high-five them. Feel their worn palm against your own or the warmth of body heat against your cold skin. Anything for just a bit of skinship–for a bit of affection. Jealousy tugged at your heart every time you watched strangers exchange easy touches, the unfairness and anger warming you in the frigid winter.

You were floating in a void of perpetuating loneliness, and it didn't look like it was going to get better for you anytime soon.

Deep-rooted instincts had taught you to shy away, to flinch, to run at the slightest touch.  Too many encounters with sick people. Too many encounters were messed up people.

Was it your fault? Afterall, it wasn't their fault they turned into mindless zombies. It was your... curse or whatever this was. You were the ones who ruined their lives. You were the disruptive force. The unknown variable in the equation, if you would.

You hated yourself.

That's why you were both elated and terrified every time someone touched you. It was sickening to wish upon this... infliction on anybody, to watch them become obsessive, but these were the small moments that you craved. The only times where you would touch a human being that wasn't familiar. Life was passing by, and you were watching it like a fool. It was slipping through your fingertips like water. How could you build stable relationships if you were flinching all the time and skittish?

In short, you were lonely. 

So when Jae-su had accidentally touched you this morning, your first instinct was to run and screech and hide. But then another thought had come during your lecture.

The teacher at the front, Mr. Ludwig, droned on and on about...nothing really. Glazed eyes and blank attitudes towards him had become the norm. In the midst of it, your eyes focused on a particular spot on the table, a thought bubbling to the top of your mind.

Would it be... so bad if I just let Jae-su? If I just let the curse take its place? See where it went?  Fate and all that shit.

First indicator this was a terrible idea? That your immediate reaction was 'MOM CANNOT KNOW.' Everyone who had touched you had been more or less a stranger. But Jae-su was your friend. If you explained the situation better, would she be able to control herself? If you just let her know, would she be able to hold herself back? The memory of her drunken text message brushed against the forefront of her mind. It reminded you that despite the tough way she carried herself and might've come across to others, she seemed to genuinely care about your wellbeing. Even if you had been pretty much a stranger then. Jae-su had a life, friends who cared about her, unlike you. You'd be stripping that away from her. And that wasn't a conceited thought, it was the truth.

You could practically hear your mother (or whatever voice from your subconscious) screaming 'THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA' at the back of your mind, but you shut it out. It would be an experiment. You felt bad about using Jae-su like that. But you weren't at the liberty of  And if it didn't work out... well, you'd cross that bridge when you came to it. You didn't really have a choice, you'd have to face Jae-su one or another.

"Hey, Y/N, right?"

Your head snapped up, and a fake smile painted onto your face almost automatically. You didn't recognise him, but judging by his items, he had been seated next to you the entire lecture.