Someone Will Remember Us | Diana Barry & Anne Shirley

Chapter Seven | The Rumour

"Diana!"
"Yes, mother?"
"Charlie's waiting for you dear! Again."
Mrs. Barry added that last word to herself, with a little smile. Every morning for the past week Charlie, a boy from Diana's class, had waited outside the Barry's to walk Diana to school.
If Mrs. Barry tried to mention it to Diana, she brushed it off and turned pink. That was answer enough to Mrs. Barry. Why, she thought, my little girl had finally gone off and found herself a boyfriend!
Seeing their children grow up can be scary and even sad for parents, but Mrs. Barry couldn't resist being happy for Diana, who seemed less blue. She'd simply been lovesick all this time! How had she not thought of that?
She watched as Diana jogged outside to Charlie, who greeted her with a big smile, and Mrs. Barry smiled to herself - it was so sweet, the way he looked at Diana. Mr. Barry, who was reading today's paper whilst enjoying his morning cup of tea, raised an eyebrow at his unusually jolly wife.
"Do tell me", he straightened out the paper in his hand. "What is it that have made you so happy these past days, dear?"
Mrs. Barry was happily humming as she embellished the flowers that adorned the little table.
"Oh, William,'' she answered. "I'm simply glad to see our daughter happy again.

Diana tried her very best to be happy with charlie. The theoretical part was flawless - he made her laugh, he was very charming and such a gentleman. Diana would even admit he was cute, seeming so happy to be with Diana.
But when it came to the practical, the relationship failed. Kissing him wasn't too bad, it just got boring after a while. And part of Diana knew of course that Diana didn't really like Charlie in that way. But she was determined to silence that part.
And still she carried that weird empty feeling within her. It seemed like it had settled down to stay. Diana was bewildered. She didn't know what to do for that feeling to go away - and she was terrified that it might only grow bigger, until one day when it would finally swallow her whole.
Charlie was happy though, and everyone around her who had been worried sick now seemed pleased.
So Diana kept up the act.
No one seemed to notice that she still wasn't whole. Maybe over time she would forget that it was an act and fool herself too.

"I'm just gonna go over there and talk to the guys for a bit." Charlie said to Diana as they'd hung off their coats and bags in the school's corridor.
"Okay." Diana answered with a small smile.
Charlie gave her a quick kiss before he jogged off to join the others. Unconsciously, Diana wiped her mouth off on her long sleeved dress's arm.
As she fumbled with her books, she overheard Josie talking to the other girls.
"I just don't get why Diana's with Charlie!"
Diana usually didn't eavesdrop - since it's rude - but hearing Josie mention her name made her curious to keep listening. Josie wasn't exactly talking in what you would call a hushed tone either.
"I mean, it's only rude to lead him on like that!"
Glenna asked the question Diana was thinking:
"What do you mean, Josie?"
"I mean since she's in love with Anne." Josie sneered back at her.
Diana's heart stopped, and she froze in her movement.
"That can't be true though," Jane noted. "I mean, it's Diana. She isn't like that, she can't be. Can she?" She added, suddenly insecure.
"Well, Ruby said that Diana had said so to her." Josie explained matter of factly. Ruby didn't comment.
"Why would Ruby, or Diana for that matter, lie about something like that?" Josie continued. "I mean, it's not something you just go around telling people for fun sake! It's illegal, and disgusting too." Josie sighed sympathetically, and ended her monologue with:
"Poor Charlie, having to kiss that mouth of hers!"

Diana stared at the girls, completely shocked. Josie kept talking, oblivious to Diana overhearing her while the other girls had noticed her and looked at Diana with frightened looks. Ruby looked small.
Diana had stood petrified, holding her breath. Her heart was now racing, the beats growing louder than anything else. She felt as if it might explode, leaving her chest as the empty hole it already felt like. She had to get out of here.
With her hands shaking terribly, she did her best to put on her coat and gather her things before quickly leaving the building.
"Diana!" Ruby called after her. She was jogging to keep up with Diana's rapid pace. "Diana, I'm sorry!"
Diana abruptly stopped, making a quick turn that resulted in Ruby almost running into her.
"Are you?" diana said, louder than she had intended to. Her voice was shaking terribly, but she was filled with a sudden rage.
"Are you really sorry, Ruby?"
Ruby was speechless. Her mouth formed a small 'o'.
"Because I don't think you are." Diana's brown eyes narrowed, and turned black. "I don't think you care for me anymore!"
Diana's shouts had attracted everyone's attention, but Diana didn't care. She felt unattached to herself, she felt like she was floating outside of her body, watching all this happen from afat. She wasn't there, this wasn't happening to her.
"Diana..." Ruby began with tears in her eyes, but Diana interrupted her.
"No, Ruby! I mean, why should you? Why should anyone care for someone like me?"
Diana felt tears burning just beneath her eyelids, teasing her. She was terrified, her voice and body were still shaking. "I'm a freak!" She laughed. A horrible, pained laugh. "And now everyone knows!" Diana gestured dramatically at the crowd that had gathered around the scene. "Everyone knows." She repeated.
And suddenly, it hit her.

Everyone knows.

Diana's heart sank. An icy feeling ran down her spine, and she was sweating. The world around her was put on mute as her gaze turned blurry and she started taking quick, small breaths. Had Diana really been so stupid, believeing that this was something that would just be forgotten, something that would never come out? That Ruby wouldn't tell someone? Of course she would, it was disgusting and illegal and wrong! Diana had been wrong to trust Ruby with this, to burden her with it. Poor Ruby.

Through the tears that were now streaming down her face, Diana saw Charlie. She saw the confusion and hurt in his eyes, and Diana felt disgusting. She felt small, like and insect or a bug that people easily could step on since it was simply disgusting, its life worth nothing.
Diana thought to herself how she was a freak, she was wrong and maybe unfixable. It was like she saw herself from the other's eyes - or at least what she believed they saw. And she didn't like what she saw. No one deserves to be around someone like me, Diana thought. I'm just not worth it.

Diana had lost sense of what was going on around her, it was like she had tripped and lost herself into a dark hole, and she just kept falling and falling.
Diana felt a hand on her shoulder, a hand that probably belonged to Ms Stacy. Whoever's it was, she shrugged it off and ran away. Ran, ran, ran. She was running until her legs burned, until her lungs begged her to stop. She sank down to the ground then, and cried.