I'm not fucking your brother: T.H x Reader

Chapter 21: You miss me yet?

It was the night after the party and all I wanted to do today is isolate myself from everyone and watch cheesy rom coms all day maybe fill the void of being so lonely inside. Despite well not being so alone after all, it's weird but being with Harry makes me feel more lonely then being with no one at all. It might be the mismatch of the two of us but I just can't seem to fight the feeling off. It's like drowning except there's no water at all like I built it all up in my head. Which is true, it is all in my head but isn't my brain usually right. They always say listen to your heart yet we depend on our brain for every little decision we make why should the bigger decisions be made with an organ that always seems to break. Thoughts like these help me rationalize some strange decisions I make, when a heart aches for a boy who thinks your voice sends daggers to his heart, who thinks he'd rather watch a million disasters then see the sight of you, who doesn't realize he hurts you with everything he doesn't do yet you're stupid heart falls for him all the same. The same stupid heart who falls for every boy who even seems to care just a little. But your mind, oh your mind, it knows what's better, it knows that choosing this boy lets you experience the feeling that he cares for you, that not feeling the same way is just a pit stop in the way of success. But what if better isn't better what if.

The next day my heart raced when I heard a knock at the door. I had stayed in and watched movies all day and I certainly wasn't prepared for anyone to see me. I was a mess.

Toms POV
I couldn't get over the sight of her. She moved on and to Harry out of all people. I just wish things were back to normal like I could switch back time.

Harrison had been listening to my insane ramblings all day. He's the only person who I can talk to about my feelings and all I feel now is sadness and loneliness.

"Mate why don't you just go over there," he says cockily. Though he knew I couldn't just waltz across the street and be welcomed with open arms from the girl who can barely stand the sight of me. She wouldn't even look at me at the dinner table though I couldn't bear the sight of seeing Harry shove his tongue down her throat.

"Harrison you know I can't do that, she wouldn't wanna see me," I try to defend as I sink back into the plus couch cushion.

"No she totally would, trust me. She likes u," he tries to persist but even he knows that it's hopeless. She moved on, what more could I do.

"No, I'm not going over there, the only way you I'd do that is if you dragged my dead body to her door step," I joke.

.......I went over. Some how Harrison managed to play me as the fool. Though I guess it was mostly curiosity that urged me to get door. I could feel my heart beat out of my chest every step I took towards the door. My breathing sped up and my palms sweat, am I really doing this?

Nervously I knocked the door, though greeting me was Y/n she didn't look like her. She wasn't smiling or humming under her breath, this wasn't y/n. But I guess that's what break ups do to people even when they get a quick rebound.

"Hey Y/n," I say as nonchalantly as possible as I squeeze past her and walk myself into her living room.

I went and threw myself on her sofa looking at the different dvds she had arranged messily all over the cushions.

"Ew you watch Spider-Man Homecoming," I say jokingly.

"Yeah I'm not sure why I have it the lead actor is quite annoying," she says as she tries to ignore my presence.

"You're right Zendaya sounds kind of weird in the movie now that I think about it," I say trying my best to ease our differences and bring back the past banter we had.

"What're you doing here Tom," her voice was serious, she certainly didn't take the cue of my banter.

A sigh escaped my lips, here it was. It was time to let out my feelings, finally tell her what I had replayed in my head for so long.

"I miss you, I miss your laugh, your smile, your kisses, your hair, your hugs, hell I miss your football skills, I miss your laughter and I miss your smile, you eyes and how they sparkles in the sun and how you'd always bite your lip when you're nervous or when you fiddle with your thumbs when you felt anxious, I miss texting you and and saying how much I couldn't wait to see you the next day. I miss all the times you'd grab me by my shirt and pull me in to kiss you or how you'd always run your fingers through my hair. When you'd sneak out to come cuddle in my room or when we'd stay in and watch Star Wars all night," I could've went on and on but she cut me off. The first I've heard her say a long sentence in what felt like years.

"Why are you telling me all of this Tom, aren't you the same boy who told me to go love someone else, the same boy who watched me run out on you in tears you didn't do anything then so what're you doing now," she says, I can tell I hurt her, her voice creaked it was weak.

It was almost like she'd break down and cry in any moment.

"You're right, Harrison too. I should've said something earlier, before you started dating Harry and before the very first time I saw you cry," I say though I wasn't finished. I had one last thing to say, one last thing to get off my chest before it's all over.

"I love you Y/n."