The hardest part of this was leaving you.

Old memories.

"You just need to start, or you will never get it done!" My mum yelled at me from the kitchen, "I know but it's just so boring." I whined in return, then getting up from the couch and slowly making my way downstairs to my room; My room was the basement, and I loved it, it felt so far away from the rest of the world. 

I'm planning on moving into an apartment closer to where I work and since I'm almost thirty I figured I should move out soon or i never will so mums making me clean out and pack all my old stuff so I'm ready to move out when I find the right place. Although I will probably end up getting rid of quite a lot of it as I feel when I have so much stuff my brain is crowded and cloudy almost. I decided to start with my bookshelf, going through all my old comics and books which was kind of weird to see how my reading taste had changed throughout the years. Once I had finished my bookshelf (I got rid of almost half my books and comics keeping all the books and comics that held special memories.) Next I decided to start with the stuff under my bed, the first thing I pulled out was a box of old craft supplies most of the paints were dried out and none of it was really worth keeping so I just decided to get rid of the whole box instead of going through it all, then I went through a box of random things there were some old action figures and more comics and one of Mikey's (my younger brother.) toys he thought he had lost, god if I gave this to him now he would never let me live this down, ( I had convinced him he had lost it and that I was not the last one to have it.)

I had just about finished with my room when I found a zine I had made with one of my best friends Frank in his first year of high school because he was much younger than me more Mikey's age but we had gotten along better then he and Mikey had, they had liked each other and stuff but we just seemed to be closer, we had bonded over the fact we both liked similar music and not to many other people at our school liked that type of music we had also bonded over comic books and classic horror films.  

I hadn't thought of Frank in a while, I had dropped out of high school about a year after meeting Frank because I was bullied pretty badly for being different and "weird", I was still struggling with the whole learning thing even after being held back two years one in primary school and one in grade eight and because I knew I wanted to do something with comics or art it didn't make much sense to stay and get bullied and struggle to learn things that I didn't care too much about. 

I left the zine on my bed to read later while I finished cleaning and going through the rest of my stuff I couldn't stop thinking about Frank, I had quite a big crush on him in high school but was too scared to do anything about it because a) he was much younger b) I don't think he liked guys and c) I was really scared of being rejected by Frank. which was another reason why I dropped out because I couldn't stand seeing him with other girls. But that's a thing of the past now. 

"I'm finished finally." I yelled to my mum from my room to where ever she was in the house, she soon appeared in my doorway to help me take the boxes that were going to charity up to my car and stack the boxes that had things I wanted to take with me but I didn't need on a daily basis neatly in the corner of the room. 

After thinking about Frank and how we bonded over music I remembered that he had made me a mixed cd and since I had gotten mums old car because I couldn't afford to buy a new one I was saving my money but having a part time job and working in the comic book industry and now paying rent and whatever else came with living alone it was going to take a while, the cd was still in the bottom of the centre console from when I begged her to play it on the drive to school. So I decided to play it on the drive to the charity shop, listening to the songs bought back lots of old memories and I wondered if I was truly over Frank.