Maze runner spoof story

Chapter 1

"WHY IS THERE A FUCKING PIG IN HERE?" I screeched in the stupid metal box thingy. It echoed and hurt my ears and I shut up. Those were my first words as I headed towards the glade.

The box slammed to a stop so abruptly that I swear I almost hit the ceiling. I fell backwards and landed on my hand. My finger was definitely broken.

Then the roof slid open and it was like I was looking at Jesus it was so bright. I tried to shield the sun with my hand but my broken finger didn't cooperate and just kinda sat there all limp and stuff. Pretty sure that's what happens with broken bones at least lol

"Look at this scared little bitch." A boy said, laughing to himself. I could see the booger's in his nose from down here.
"I'm not scared." I snorted, magically jumping out of the box and kicking him in his ugly face. He screamed and fell backwards onto the grass and died instantly. Everyone cheered.

"Yay, you killed George!" One boy clapped. "I owed him five dollars."

"You stingy mofo." I rolled my eyes. "But his name sucks so I don't feel too bad."

"You rock, greenie!" An Asian boy with too much hair gel said. I poked him in the eye with my broken finger.
"Don't call me that."

"Greenie?" He repeated.
"Yes. Don't call me that." I finished, sitting on the grass and making a voodoo doll out of grass because why not, I'm bored lol.

"Then what do we call you?" The boy continued.
"Call me swagmaster69."

"I prefer shithead." The boy shrugged and I did a backflip off the ground. I almost kicked another boy in the face accidentally, but I was wearing bunny slippers so it wouldn't have hurt anyways.

"ALL HAIL SHITHEAD!" The boys yelled as I jumped up onto the asian boy's shoulders through the magic of fan fiction.
"BOW TO YOUR KING!" I yelled back.

"Ew no. You're fugly." A boy with SERIOUSLY fucked up eyebrows scoffed.
"And you're now naked." I laughed in victory. He screamed and realized he was in fact, naked.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

"Bibbidy bobbidy Boo you non-refundable soda can. I'm magic." I winked.

And then all the boys carried me away as the eyebrow man sat in his own shame and stankiness.