Maze runner spoof story

Chapter 2

"Alright, shithead, here's the deal." A boy that I know knew as Alby said with a finger pointed in the air.
"You're a stupid little bitch."

"And?" I asked and spun around in my swivel desk chair. I don't even know where I got it, honestly, but it has a padded seat and everything. Super comfy. Anyways.
"You're a stupid big bitch."

He gasped and put a hand on his chest.
"You take that back!" He started crying.

"Nope." I shook my head. On cue, the door burst open and Mama Newt strolled inside.
"I sensed emotionally instability." Newt said loudly, sniffing around like he could smell it.

"You're disrupting my babies. Out. Shoo." Newt swatted me with his hand and I went flying out the window. For some reason gravity didn't work and I just kept flying. Eventually I got so high that I could see over the maze.

Everyone below gathered around, pointing up at me as I kept floating higher up.
"SEE YA LATER, BITCHES!" I waved.

But I was now flying too high. It was getting hotter and hotter and hotter and I realized I was getting too close to the sun.
"OH SHIT YOURE NOT CLAPPING THESE CHEEKS TODAY, SUNNYBOY." I screamed and started twerking. The power of the booty somehow let me stop floating.

I kept twerking until I was closer to the ground, about halfway up the maze walls. But then I sneezed. The second the clapping of my bootylicious cheeks stopped, I fell to the ground.

Just before I hit the dirt something stopped me in midair.
"What in the ever-loving shit fuck is this sorcery?" I asked and flailed around in the air. I saw a girl nearby with her hand out towards me, blood coming from her nose.

"Hey! Put me down you greasy little turd!" I yelled. She shrugged and dropped me, and I landed in the pig pen. Frypan silently handed a waffle to the little girl and she walked away into the deadheads to never be seen again.

And I climbed out of the pigpen covered in shit and mud and started flinging it at people when they laughed at me.