NOT GIVING UP ON FOREVER

Chapter 43

"Anna! Anna!" Teo's voice broke into the girl's dream.

She opened her eyes anxiously.

"You were screaming in your sleep," Teo explained. "I'm concerned. What is wrong, a bad dream??"

The pillow was as wet with sweat as Anna herself. She was panting but could not remember a single detail of the dream. She could have guessed what it was about, but her head refused to cooperate. She felt ashamed and mumbled, lost in explanation:

"Sorry, Teo... Just a dream, nothing more. Perhaps, too many emotions from the travel..."

"You okay now?" he interrupted, handing over a glass of water.

Anna guzzled the contents and nodded satisfactorily. She wondered:

"Why are you dressed? What time is it?"

"About nine o'clock. I would wake you up anyway to invite you to have breakfast in an amazing tavern I know, but then I heard a scream."

"Forgive me."

"Nonsense. Are you sure you okay?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Nine o'clock... You're an early riser. I do not like to get up early, but breakfast at the tavern sounds good."

Teo smiled.

"I'll give you time to get dressed. You look awful!"

"Thank you!" Anna laughed.

Teo went out and left Anna alone with her thoughts. She tried in vain to remember the details of the dream. The scraps that popped up did not bring any understanding and, deciding that it was a waste of precious time. She got up and wandered into the bathroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror and grimaced. She looked awful, but the most terrible were fleeting thoughts—judgments about her, told by different voices.

"Beauty," she heard Randall's voice, who did not tire of telling her this no matter what. "Brainless ugly duck," was her stepfather's voice, more powerful, more deeply seated, as if saying the only possible truth for her.

She thought about everything. About Teo, her sincere desire to hurt Randall. She missed him. So much so that when she imagined his face, tears came to her eyes. She wanted to continue their affair. She longed for mutual feelings.

Why couldn't she be the girlfriend of such a handsome guy? Such a confident, charming, sweet, smart guy? Why was everything she always wanted unanswered? She's only worthy of being with a hairy, disgusting monster, like her stepfather type?

To repeat the fate of their parents—that's the path of the children? Was this fate not pleased with Anna's strong relationship with Mark? She was so sure she would marry him. Why such deep feelings were strangled by resentment, and now new deep feelings, when she was about to believe in having gained the second chance on love, are to be killed by anger?

Maybe this is not worth it, and cheating can be forgiven? Can we just not see it as a betrayal and start from the beginning?

Nonsense, he didn't need her. Randall didn't ask for forgiveness. He saw nothing wrong with the act. He just explained that he was a free man and could do anything. There was nothing to forgive, nowhere to go back. She swallowed her tears and muttered to her reflection in the mirror, "I still love you, Randall."

She sighed heavily and began to paint the self-confidence and happiness on her face. And this effect only makeup tools can achieve.