Bruises

~Papers~

Hello there! Yes. The chapter is finally here and yes, I'm really excited for all of you to read it :) Music always makes reading better, so you know what to do ;) Enjoy!

  Positive. Positive. Positive.
Eight bloody letters, creating a sea of thoughts, dancing on my mind only God knows how many hours now. What the hell is happening? What does that word means truly? Should I be happy about it? Should I be sad? I really have no idea.

  The sound of the doorbell made me open my eyes. In the room, it was still dark, because of the heavy closed curtains. But no light now was trying to get in through the window. It was already dark outside. And late.
  I moved my legs, which were stuck on my chest, and put them on the cold floor. Squeezing my eyes tightly as if my headache could go away, I got out of the bed.
  I immediately turned to my cell phone on the nightstand. 22:04'. I have no clue about how long I slept. Heavens, my head. My hand came up and my fingers touched my forehead, right where the pain were coming from. I then turned to look behind me. My eyes fell on the now stained with tears paper on the bed. A reminder of what is truly happening, not a bad dream after all. The doorbell rang again.
  I quickly picked the paper up and, folding it clumsily, I threw it under the bed, not knowing what else I could do at the moment.
  I was so lost on my thoughts that I completely forgot that he was to come some hours later. Although it seemed like minutes to me...

"Hey. Merry Christmas!", he said when I opened hesitantly the front door, but his smile faded away as he saw my red face.

"Hey.", I answered, clearing my throat. "Plese come in." I stepped to the side and back in the safe darkness of the house, allowing him to get in.

  He closed the door and turned to me again. A furrow appeared between his brows.
"Did anything happened?", he asked, trying to read my feelings.

"No. I- I don't know." I slowly folded my arms, hugging my upper body, and looked at the floor, feeling my lower lip trembling.

"Hey, hey.", he said approaching me. His lips then found my forehead, letting a sweet kiss.

"You know you always can talk to me.", he whispered above my head as he brought it to lay on his chest, which was still in the cold by the Christmas weather coat of his. I slowly brought my arms around his waist and hugged him, as I felt a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall off my eyes.
  I couldn't even speak. What could I say after all? That his child's growing inside me? That I'm scared? What if- What if he doesn't want it? What if he and- He is still married, isn't he? Maybe he regretted being with me. And now I have another life growing in my body.

"Do you want to watch a movie? With- with me?", he said after some silent minutes, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Maybe we could talk after that if you'll feel better, yes?" He took my face and placed it in his palms, caressing gently my cheeks with his thumbs.

  I nodded.
Should I really do this? A child... Maybe I am able to handle it. Perhaps it's better if I'll be alone. Alone... But- I don't want to be alone. I can't- be alone.

  Almost an hour passed. The movie is playing in front of me on the telly as I lie on my bed, but no movie my eyes can see as my mind was never practically there. His arm around my waist, resting his palm on my flat stomach. Not flat for much longer, huh? I looked down on his hand. Does he knows that his child is growing under his resting palm? Our child... Will he be here when he finds out?... Does he has to find out- He has the right to. But, does he really has to?...
  I put my hand above his. My thumb found the back of his hand and caressed it gently. He then took it slowly in his own and gave me a little squeeze. Holding my hand in his fist, he rested it back to my stomach, hugging me closer. That was the moment I felt more tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. He has to know. I can't hide it from him. Even if- even if he doesn't want it. At least then I'll know too.