Rebirth: Professional Substitute

Chapter 91 - YanMingXiu's Thoughts

ZhouXiang didn't go home that night. It should be said that he didn't return to the apartment he and ChenYing rented because YanMingXiu took him back to his real home.

Despite the fact that ZhouXiang no longer has ownership of his own home. Once his body is found, his death had truly been confirmed. All of his possessions no longer have any connections to him.

When he pushed open the familiar door and turned on the light switch that he could easily have felt even with his eyes closed, he saw the home he had lived in for 30 years looking just the same as before in front of him. There is no dust, no emptiness of being left vacant for a long time. The warming soft light streamed into the cozy little living room felt just as he left those years ago. There was not even the slightest change.

YanMingXiu's eyes swept through every corners of the living room. He softly said, "I've tidied it up. You... after you left, I lived here for a long time. But later on, I didn't dare to anymore. The sound of your voice and your face is everywhere in this home, I can't live here. But every month I'll come back once or twice do some cleaning. Everything has been kept the same as before. ZhouXiang ... do you understand? I've always been waiting for you to come back."

ZhouXiang's heart felt a bit pained. He sorrowfully sighed, "I've already returned. I'll exchange this condo with the one you transferred to me. Give me back mine, okay?" ZhouXiang looked at YanMingXiu, his eyes sincere, "Take it as me begging you."

YanMingXiu smiled forcefully, "ZhouXiang, you really have the ability to make me feel bad. This condo, I can give it back to you but you have to give yourself to me."

ZhouXiang turned his head silently, "Half a year, only half a year left in our deal."

"Even if it is half a year, I won't give up." YanMingXiu added, "In this six months, we'll be like before, you have to follow according to my plans. I'll give you two days to move back here." YanMingXiu leaned forward and gently kissed ZhouXiang's soft lips, "Let's live here together and start over."

ZhouXiang gnawed his teeth, "You doing all this makes no sense. There is nothing that can go back. If I was still the ZhouXiang from before, if I didn't fall off the cliff, then maybe I can start over with you. But now, YanMingXiu, now, look at me, look at my face, we can't start over."

"We can." YanMingXiu stared fiercely into ZhouXiang's eyes. His eyes are so deep that it look a bit frightening. "ZhouXiang, actually you never knew me because I've always guarded myself from you. I made a huge mistake. I didn't let you know how content I was in the year we were together. Every single day, I was so comfortable and happy. You don't understand what you mean to me. I also didn't understand back then, but the three years that you weren't here, I know clearer than anything else that I can't ... can't let you go."

He didn't know whether he dared in his life to tell ZhouXiang that the person who had captivated him at the age of 16, the person he fell in love with and the person constantly on his mind in these years is ZhouXiang. Because he mistaken the wrong person, loved the wrong person, the mistake he made in this life is one that he couldn't forgive himself. At this point, he can't do anything about it. He doesn't have the courage to tell ZhouXiang. He's afraid that ZhouXiang will hate him even more. He even hated himself.

If it could be said that the graceful, natural and unrestrained back of the person dressed in white on the silver screen satisfied his illusion of a perfect lover in his youth, then the year that he was with ZhouXiang was a period that constantly showed him what it was in a relationship that made him feel comfortable and content. He saw how a mature man treats love and how he (ZhouXiang) used his kindness and tolerance to influence and bind the other person. He is the one who has been firmly grasped by ZhouXiang. However, he was too stupid at the time to realize it. He was blinded by his own obsession. He even felt that since he already had someone (WangYuDong) in his heart, he was going against his own principles to fall for someone (ZhouXiang) else. While he enjoyed all the goodness that ZhouXiang gave him, he just muddled along in deceiving himself, deceiving ZhouXiang.