Strong Words and Vodka

Ch.2

I looked down at Ashton, leaning to his ear, I whispered "Ash, can we talk in private." Calum was now walking over to the pizza. He mumbled "Well for fuck sake can we eat." Ashton, now standing, nods his head in the direction of the extra room in the hotel. I smile up at him and nod my head as if to say okay. Luke wolf whistles making me and Ash rolled our eyes because Luke is being a troll.

Me and Ashton went and sat on the empty couch in the room. Sitting Indian style we faced each other. I looked into Ashton's eyes, all I could think was this boy in front of me is like the big brother I never had. He's helped me so much through out the years and never once has he judged me. So I had to tell him how I feel about Michael. Ashton was staring deep into my eyes anxiously waiting for what I'm about to say, I suck in a deep breath.

"Baby girl you can tell me whatever is on your mind you know that right?" I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, "Yeah ash, I know. It's just hard saying this because it took me forever to accept it myself." Ashton farrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head a bit. "When you- I think- it's just- ugh." Ashton put his hand on my knee and rubbed it slowly with his thumb. His action immediately soothed me.

"When you said that mike is sweet on me..." Ashton leans back a little. "It made me think about all the things I've been feeling lately." Ashton's face softens, "What have you been feeling?" I break eye contact with Ash to look down at my nails that I had been picking since we sat down. It was a sign of nervousness for me and he knew it. Ashton grabbed my hands to stop me from picking. I look back at his shiny eyes, he then said sternly

"What have you been feeling Michaela?" I suck my teeth in frustration at myself. I just couldn't spit it out! I forced myself, "Ash, I get nervous around him. My heart speeds up, my hands shake, I feel so numb and my mind races to the point where everything is jumbled together. I feel so stupid around him." I take my hands away from his and rest my face in them.

"I don't kn- I just don't know. What the fuck should I do?" Ashton peels my hands away from my face. He saw that I was stressed about this. "Why are you stressing so much?" He carefully asked me. I turn sitting correctly on the couch and so he does the same. I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder, him wrapping his right arm around me. "I'm stressing so much because I never really felt this way and about my best friend. I don't want to fuck this up. But I do want to tell him somehow." Ashton was playing with my hair, "Well, we can have a small party tonight just you, Eryka, me, the boys and some vodka. After a few drinks the words should flow easier."

Before I could say anything Eryka walks in, "Hey guys, Calum and Luke wants you back in there." She mumbled rubbing her eyes and stretching. I smiled at her, "okay sweetie." She was the youngest, a year under Luke." I'm happy she finally got some sleep." I say to Ashton getting up to go back into the bedroom. "Yeah, me too. She looks better and a little bit happy." I nodded walking towards the door. "So wait, what do you say about tonight?" I open the door and say, "Oh yeah, sounds like a damn good idea."