I wait on the hospital bed for what seems like hours, years, centuries...but in reality it's only been around like five minutes. I'm just so...what's the word...anxious. Yeah, anxious. My anxiousness is out of control, I can feel it rushing through my veins.
Ian...Does he still love me? Does he just love me as a friend? Like...does he want to be more than friends? "Maybe best friends..." I mumble, burying my face in my hands. Even if we go back to being best friends...that's all I need. Just...something. As time goes by, I get more anxious. If that's even possible. My eyes move to the clock, ticking away. Ugh, I don't think I can look at a clock anymore without being sick to my stomach. All those clocks, the words from that high pitched voice. It's all so vivid still.
"Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock
Tick tock, goes the clock
You are going to fade
Tick tock, then we stop
Then you'll be afraid."
All those words, all that happened, all that happened in my mind anyways...it's all going to haunt my nightmares...hell, it's going to haunt me forever. I can still picture Reflection...the image of Ian dying....The thoughts send shivers down my spine and throughout my body. Ian being dead...Sure, of course I know that everyone dies someday...but..Ian...Ian fucking Andrew Hecox.
Ian...now I can't get him out of my mind. My mind is still processing everything. Reflection isn't real, just my imagination, Ian Andrew Hecox is alive, all of that was a dream. Surprisingly, that craving that I had for alcohol is gone...strange. Ian...he doesn't look the same. Don't get me wrong, he's cute as hell, but just...different. His body shape is way thinner and his hair is different. But his face...it's still as caring as it was five years ago.
Ian walks through the door, his eyes glued to the floor, his hands laced together. He runs one hand through his own hair, looking over at me then back at the floor.
"You okay?" I start a conversation. "Yeah, yeah..." "Why so silent?" I blurt out. Goddammit, Anthony...good job keeping things to yourself. "O-oh..I'm just trying to find the right words to say..." Ian chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Spit it out...I'm not here to judge..." I say, taking a few steps towards him.
"Listen Anthony...I...I just don't know what to think...let alone say..." "Ian. Just spit it out. Say what you're thinking," I step even closer to him so we are around a foot apart.
"I...um...Anthony..I-" Ian stammers out, but I cut him off to save him the embarrasment. "Listen Ian. I don't wanna force you into anything. I know I'm a really big douche and you could do so much better and I'm really selfish an-" Ian then does the unthinkable. He cuts off my voice by pressing his soft lips to mine, cupping my cheek and going on his tip toes to reach. Ian...Ian does love me...I smile into the kiss, closing my eyes. Ian does the same and we kiss each other. I lean down, so Ian isn't so uncomfortable. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel sparks. I knew something was off with dream-Ian. It wasn't Ian. It wasn't the same man that I've known to love. Ian's the first one to pull away when the lack of air becomes too much. Sure, it was a sweet and slow kiss, but neither of us really stopped for air. Our foreheads rest against each other. "Ian, I love you. I don't care how many times I have to say it. I don't care if I say it so many times it doesn't have meaning. I love you," I admit, just letting the worlds flow from my mouth. "I love you too, Anthony. Sorry for taking a while, it just took me a moment to process what you said, and see if you meant it but...I trust you. It's been five years, but I bet you that I know you better than anyone. I kept replaying the scene in my mind...and I could just see that look in your eyes....I don't know how to explain it and I-" "Shush your babbling and kiss me again," I cut him off, smirking. Ian laughs and kisses me again. Just as sweet and soft. I'm completely and utterly in love with him...and now...nothing could tear us apart.
(A/N) Awhhhh! Awhhhhhhhh! AWHHHHH! ^-^
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