Clary: A fresh start

Chapter 18

It's official. I've officially fucked up my life. This time it was 100% unfixable. It's  been 3 weeks since the movie night and i start school on a few days, I haven't had my period in 2 weeks. What am I going to do. Why do I get myself into this mess. Thankfully I go to a public school. Fuck how am I going to tell Jace. What is my family going to think. Why do I do this to myself.
I invited him over tonight and I'm just going to tell him. I hope he doesn't hate me after this, I don't think I would survive it. Maybe I can tell Izzy first. Yeah I'll do that.
Clary-
Iz. I'm late.
Izzy-
Late for what?
Clary-
My period. It's late. It was supposed to come 2 weeks ago.
Izzy-
Omg! I'm coming over with a pregnancy test, I promise you everything is goin to be alright. Of Jace isn't there for you, I will be.
Clary-
Okay, I'll see you soon.
I can't believe I just did that, what am I going to tell Jon. He's gonna kill Jace before I even get the chance to tell him, maybe.
An hour later
Izzy showed up with a bag of multiple pregnancy tests and a cup of tea. I took three of the tests and stuck the rest in my desk. We waited for the tests to finish as I nervously stared at them and Izzy comforted me.
"Izzy what the hell am I gonna do. Back in Louisiana this was normal, nobody cared or even blinked an eye. But here in New York, Jon, my mother their gonna fucking kill Jace and then me." I put my head in my knees and started to tear up.
"Everything is going to be okay Clary. I'm right here for you, if anyone tried to hurt you I'll move us to New Jersey."
I looked back at the pregnancy tests I took and saw two purple lines, a plus sign, and the word "pregnant."
"Izzy." I threw them on the bed and I started sobbing. "This was supposed to happen in Louisiana not here, by now."
She picked up the tests and looked up at me. "Hey look at me Clary." I looked up at her and she looked me directly in my eyes, "Everything is going to be alright, I promise you." She stood up and put the tests on my desk and came back to the bed and gave me a hug. "Now lets go get you something to eat." I nodded and dried my tears and we walked down stairs to the kitchen.
We grabbed ice cream, cookies, anything sweat we had in the house. We both ran back upstairs and opened everything up.
"Izzy I can't do this. I can't be a mother. Hell I can hardly take care of myself." I started crying into my ice cream.
Izzy gave me a side hug and i put my head on her shoulder. "I'm right here always. Your my best friend Clary. I would never leave you."
I started to sob uncontrollably because now it was confirmed that I fucked up my life.
Before I knew it Jace was knocking on the front door, Jon knew I was upset so he ran down to let him in.
"Clary?" Jace was standing in my door frame just staring at me with his loving eyes.
"Jace, I'm so sorry." I started sobbing again.
He ran to my side and put his hands in mine. "Why are you sorry baby. You can never hurt me. I love you so much." He sat down in front of me and kissed my forehead.
"I don't know how to say it."
"Did you cheat on me." He chuckled a little. It made me sob more. "Woah Clary, everything's okay. I'm right here. I love you." He our his arms around me and that when he saw it. The positive pregnancy tests that I had left on the bed. He picked one up an he put it flat in his palm. "Is this yours?" I nodded and it started to get harder to breathe.
His face went flat. He had so many emotions, "I'm so sorry Jace. I ruined both of our lives. You never should have met me." He put his arms back around me.
"Clary. I love you so much. Whatever you choose to do, I'll be right by your side, always." I felt a tear that wasn't mine hit my shoulder, he was crying.
"I'm so sorry Jace. I'm so fucking sorry."
We stayed like the for what felt like forever, it felt amazing but at the same time I was growing s child inside of me. I can't even take care of myself how am I supposed to take care of a tiny human.
Holy shit what am i going to do, i hate my life so much. I guess this is what I deserve.
"Clary, are you going to keep it?"
"I think I have to. I mean my mom and Jon are probably gonna kill you though."
"Yeah." He chuckled and took a deep breath, he grabbed my hands and put his head down to look me in my eyes. "I love you so much Clary I'm not going to let anything happen to you or the baby."
I smiled and looked out of my bedroom window. "Jace, I can't go back to school. Not like this."
He nodded his head, "We can sign you up for online school, become homeschooled."
"No. I'm just going to drop out completely. I want to become an artist, it doesn't require college or a school education for the most part."
"It's up to you baby."
Knock Knock
"Clare! Are you in there?"
"Yeah Jon! Hang on."
I took the positive pregnancy tests and through them under my pillow.
"Okay come on in!"
Jace and I stayed on the bed and his hand was on my knee.
"You guys weren't having-"
"No. But Jon, I need to tell you something." I looked down at Jace's hand and he started moving his thumb in tiny little circles.
"Your not pregnant are you?"
I looked down again and started crying.
"Shit." He walked over to the bed and he sat down next to me. He put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder. "Who knows?"
"Just Izzy, Jace, and you."
"My sister knows?" Jace looked at me and tilted his head in confusion.
"Yeah, she brought over the tests when she came over earlier today."
I picked them up from under my pillow and showed them to Jon.
He shot me a worried look, "Jace your lucky I love Clary to much to kill you."
Jace gave a low chuckle and I crawled into a little ball and just let gravity push me to my side. "You guys can't tell anyone."
"I know that Clare."
Jace nodded and took my hand and put my hand in his. "Everything is going to be alright Clary. I'm going to be right by your side. I love you so much."