Louis hadn’t woken up yet. His vitals were normal, all numbers were as supposed to be. All was well and normal, yet, he still didn’t awake. The doctor explained that it was to be expected in some cases, after massive blood loss, and trauma, that the body wouldn’t respond as quickly or as efficiently as anticipated. But I couldn’t look past the fact that Louis was still laying in bed, unconscious and distraught, and he still didn’t wake up, even though, he had no logical reason not to. He didn’t wake up, and she was still out there, and the subway was still hijacked, and everyone was on our case, and everything was so incredibly wrong, and I just wanted out.
Zayn and Liam were laying on the waiting chairs, both unintentionally asleep, while Niall went to get us another cup of coffee. I went into Louis’ intensive care unit, suited in the hospital’s gown, a mask shielding my mouth, and gloves covering my hands. I stood there, simply staring down upon him, noticing how many shades of white his skin had paled, how many scraps there were on his knuckles, how many tubes were connected to practically every seen and unseen spot in his body.
“ I’m sorry.” I seemed to whisper repeatedly, willing the tears not to fall, because I didn’t want to disturb his peace, or pollute the bubble he was supposed to stay in. I had no right being weak now, not when everybody else was hanging by a thread. I wasn’t the one pregnant and taken. I wasn’t the one with a bullet through my gut. I wasn’t as strong, nor, nearly as selfless. Feeling it all caving in on me, I walked out, after giving Louis’ hand a silent squeeze, pleading for his quick return.
The next morning, two days after being in the hospital, Louis finally woke up. The doctor had to put some catalysts through his IV, to provoke his body to respond, and it finally did. He was moved into a normal room, with a promise to be able to leave within a week, if all went well. Visits were allowed now, and we were scattered all over his room. Niall filling him in on the latest football matches that they all missed because we had to be here with him, but of course, Niall being the football fanatic he was, asked around to know the results and the highlights of the matches. Zayn took it upon himself to inspect Louis’ police skills and abilities, to make sure that he hadn’t lost it along with the blood he lost. While Liam continued to fix Louis’ pillow, or feeding him, or giving him water, no matter how frequently he asked for it. I, on the other hand, once I realized that he was indeed awake, and already talking, I hid in the background, unable to meet his questioning gaze, nor, willing to cause him any further suffering. It seemed to happen a lot to the people around me, pain, agony, loss. And I didn’t want to put him through any of it anymore.
Niall was proudly showing Louis the bullet they extracted from his abdomen, telling him about every gruesome detail that had happened to his body, exaggerating a bit of course, when the room fell silent, quiet whispers flowing through the room.
“ Harry, mate, are you sure you’re alright?” Zayn’s voice came first, lifting my gaze from the ground to meet his own. I weakly nodded, throwing in a small smile for reassurance.
“ Maybe you should head home, take a shower, change into some clean clothes, and you can come back here if you want. You probably need to check on Hazel too.” All eyes were on me, including Louis’ skeptical ones, as I shook my head.
“ No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”
“ Too shameful, Harry? Think this will make anything any better?” Louis’ steady, firm, voice filled the air of the room, as I blankly stared at him, wide-eyed, caught off guard.
“ Excuse me?”
“ Hey, Louis, this wasn’t Harry’s fault-“ Niall interjected, but was quickly stopped by Louis.
“ That’s not what I’m talking about. You know what I’m talking about Harry, don’t you?”
“ What is he talking about, Harry? What’s going on here?” Zayn demanded, rising from his seat on Louis’ bed.
“ This son of a bitch, here, thought he could offer Joshua a trade. Him, for Gypsy, after getting me out.” Louis announced, as I squeezed my eyes shut, sinking further into my seat in utter defeat.
“ What the fuck?” All three voices of Niall, Liam, and Zayn boomed at the same time.
“ Are you out of your mind, Harry?” Niall questioned, immediately being complimented with Liam’s “ You could have gotten the both of you killed,” and finishing off with Zayn’s “ You’re so fucking stupid, and reckless.” I lifted my hands in surrender, rising from my seat, shaking my head to myself.
“ I’m not doing this.” I whispered, walking away from them.
“ You, selfish, coward, thinking that you’re some kind of hero, for doing this. Hazel begged you not to do anything stupid, she is losing her sister, and you had to go around and fuck shit up for everyone else. I told you not to get brave, Harry. Zayn, Liam, Niall, everyone fucking warned you that this wasn’t the way, and what do you do? You go behind everybody’s back and do exactly that. Gypsy is in there, losing her baby, and she’s still stronger than your pathetic ass-“
No.
He didn’t mean that.
I tilted my heavy head backwards, staring at Louis with tearful eyes, as his yells came to an abrupt halt, seemingly aware of the soul crushing news he had so carelessly announced.
“ What did you say?” I choked out.
“ Gypsy is having a miscarriage, Harry. She’s been bleeding, and- I tried telling you back there, but she wouldn’t have it.”
And just like that, what was left standing from my so called world, came crashing down, burying me beneath the ashes.
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A/N: :(((((((
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ily x
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Hijacked // h.s. au
Fanfiction“ Th- this is Gypsy Styles, we are threatened by men with guns, and so far, we are all okay, but please just- please, help us.” And the line went dead.
