If you were to have told me 4 months ago what went down last night, I would have told you to keep dreaming. I never expected this reality, and maybe my heart is too big for my head to think clearly, and everything will become clear in a few days, but I don't want to lose this feeling inside yet, so here it is.
I, for whatever reason, decided it was time I told you I was interested. I was more than just interested, but of course I would never tell you that. I wanted to make sure it was the perfect confession of a slight liking, so I went with texting you simply "Im into you."
You answered me confused, and I clarified once again that I did infact like you, to which you casually ignored.
We continued to talk like nothing was said, it was strange but I continued to hope.
A couple days had passed and I was hanging out at a friends house. It was a late summer evening, and I was the slightest bit intoxicated.
Our snap chatting had become more and more frequent, which ultimately surprised me.
On that evening, I indirectly hinted at my location to you, to which you had seemingly taken that hint, and you asked me what I was doing, I told you to go to a friend of our's house —where I currently was—and before I knew it, you were on your way.
I would write about all the playful flirting and touching and eye-contact and shit, but that's not important, none of this matters anymore, so let's cut to the point.
I was sitting on the couch, everyone else outside on the porch. You had walked in from the garage and checked your phone as you walked over to me. Every time I looked at you, nervousness would fill me to the core. Your hair was disheveled and messy and your clothes were loose and baggy but fit you perfectly. I looked up at you from the arm rest of the black leather couch and you smiled at me before jokingly pushing me back against the seat of the chair. Of course I was surprised, but what happen next surprised me even more. After pushing me back, you climbed over me and immediately smashed your lips into mine. I felt your hands by my hips and your tongue in my mouth; I felt my heart explode in my chest a thousand times. It was my first kiss; my first make-out; my first genuine attraction.
I didn't know how to react, my mind went numb and my body set ablaze. I separated from the kiss smiling and whispering a quick "oh hi" before your lips connected to mine and I kissed back. It lasted a little longer before you pulled away and sat besides me. And we just talked– talked about life for a while– and it was nice.
Later that night you drove me home, the two of us stopping at the skatepark near my house, just us and an empty park, me holding on to you as you showed off your skills until the park closed and you drove me to my house.
You stopped in front of my house and we talked a little more before you pulled me in again, connecting our lips for the second time that night. I remember opening my eyes and looking at you in the dim light of the street lamp, taking everything in. I felt your mouth against mine and a heavenly feeling all over. I smiled into the kiss before we broke apart as I flustered-ly said our goodbyes and climbed out of the car, heart-fluttering as I waited for you to drive away before I skipped to my front door.
That night we stayed up late talking to each other, I'd never had as many conversations with you as I had that night. Every-time I thought about what happened, my stomach would fill with butterflies.
I began writing this the night after you kissed me. I'm finishing writing this two months after. My head was wrapped around you. You later told me the kiss did not mean anything, but it amazes me how much it hurts to think about it. I never had a crush like I had on you, and I can't seem to get another one.
The feelings are not as strong, but they are definitely still there. We look at each other and speak and hug and laugh like nothing happened, but I can't stop from thinking and wishing to myself that things were different, wishing we flirted like we used to, wishing I still had hope for whatever we could have been.
Now I just reminisce.
YOU ARE READING
Crushing Love.
Romance- Time slowed when I looked at him. His hair was a black mess of curls on his head. His eyebrows were dark and arched, his lips full. His jawline could cut. The instant I saw him, my heart bounced outside my chest. It's an understatement to say my i...
