Green Pastures (Edited)

Chapter 4

The next morning, I started packing. Sebastion had taken off after our argument and talking with Grandpa last night. I couldn't make myself care, though. I was so numb. He had killed the last of my feelings. I packed everything that I felt was necessary and left the rest. Clothes, shoes, bedclothes, and makeup were the only thing from my bedroom that was boxed. I grabbed my toothbrush, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, and Jessi's stuff. I put them in boxes. Next, I went to Jessi's bedroom and packed her clothes and bedclothes and Grandpa took down her crib. I went into my parents' room. I grabbed a framed photo of all of us together. I hugged it to my chest and then put it in a box.

We had two hours until the funerals. Annie had never returned my call, so I had to find out that Ben's funeral would be held right after my parents'. I was nervous and scared. I hadn't seen his body since the accident and my memory was foggy. I remembered bits and pieces of it but I didn't remember what he or my parents looked like after. I was terrified of what I would see when I looked at him. I changed into a black dress and flats. Jessi would be at Emalie's until Ben's funeral and then he would stay with her parents so that she could attend.

I sat in the truck seat, silent as grandpa drove to the church. It was a big fancy church. We attended the Sunday service there every week. It would be weird walking in there without my parents. I wondered silently if Sebastion would show up. I didn't have to wait long to find out. He was already sitting in the front pew when grandpa and I walked in. Grandpa sat down and I avoided sitting next to Sebastion. I settled into the spot on grandpas left. The Paster and his wife walked up to us and introduced themselves to grandpa. He shook their hands and said his thanks.

They walked over to Sebastion and shook his hand. He nodded at something the preacher said. When they stepped in front of me, The preacher's wife, Sally took my hands and said, "This is a beautiful day. The circumstances are terrible, but Abraham and I know that your parents are with God and having the time of their lives. We are praying for you. Just know, any time you need anything, you can give us a call." She smiled and hugged me, as did the preacher.

I thanked them and sat back down. When the service started, everyone went silent. They listened intently to what Pastor Abraham said. I looked around at all of the people who attended. Most were from the church, some were colleagues, and a few were friends. My dad's family didn't come because they lived in Germany. My grandpa was the only family that my mom had. Never the less, the number of people who showed up blew me away. They were good people and loved everyone, so I shouldn't be surprised.

The Pastor prayed for the family and friends. He prayed for my parents and when he was finished, we all sang. My mom's favorite song was Go Rest High on the Mountain, so that's what we sang. I felt a peace wash over me as I stood there, listening to the words.

At Ben's funeral, there were a lot of our friends. Almost the whole High School came, including the staff. I received so many hugs that my arms began to ache. I hadn't caught sight of Annie yet and began to worry. When I finally saw her, she was surrounded by her family. I walked over to her but when I tried to talk to her, she glared at me. I was stunned.

"Annie," I started but she cut me off.

"You are not welcome here! You... you. Why did it have to be my little boy? Look at you!" Her scream caught everyone's attention and they all turned to see what was happening.

"You were unharmed but my boy is dead! I don't want you here!"

She continued to scream at me as I pushed past people, trying to get out the door. Tears ran freely down my face as shudders shook my body. I wrapped my arms around myself and sank to the ground. Strong arms wrapped around me and I barely made out my grandfather's figure through blurred vision.