How To Survive Adolescence

#10 Don't Let Them Get To You

#10 Don't Let Them Get To You

>I really hope none of you have ever been bullied, teased or picked on. I would like to think nobody who reads this would be able to relate to feeling isolated, alone or misunderstood. In the puppies and sunshine part of my brain all of you wonderful people are happy and have never experienced any form of bullying. Unfortunately the rain clouds and puddles part of my brain tells me that some of you have probably experienced this in some form, the internet also tells me this.

I found some statistics which make me feel really sad but I think are important to recognize.

-       'About 30 percent of teenagers in the U.S have been involved in bullying, either as a bully or as a victim of teenage bullying' (1)

-     ‘When it comes to verbal bullying, this type of bullying is the most common type with about 77 percent of all students being bullied verbally in some way or another including mental bullying or even verbal abuse’ (2)

-       ‘9 out of 10 LGBT teens have reported being bullied at school within the past year because of their sexual orientation…Out of those numbers, almost half have reported being physically harassed followed by another quarter who reported actually being physically assaulted’ (3)

-     ‘Over half of adolescents and teens have been bullied online, and about the same number have engaged in cyber bullying’ (4)

These are pretty shocking numbers but it makes it clear how prevalent this issue really is.

>I'm not going to try to give you advice or tell you what you should do if you're being bullied. That is not my place and if you are being bullied you should tell someone. Every situation in which someone is being targeted by a bully is different. There is no magical piece of advice that would apply to everyone.  

I want to tell you that no matter how bad the bullying is or how long it goes on for, after it’s over (it will be over) you need to recognize that everything they said about you or to you was absolute *excuse my language* bullshit. Just because they said it or believed it doesn’t make it true. Bullying is bad but what is worse is the state a person is in after it is over. The bully walks away happy with themselves and you are left with your confidence on the floor, your self-belief gone and acceptance of every horrible thing they said.

>People carry the words of their bullies around with them for years. The nursery rhyme…

 “Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me”

…isn’t true. Names hurt and we shouldn’t have to pretend they don’t.

If someone pushed me over and it caused me an injury which scarred me, people would recognize that I was scarred as a result of being bullied. If someone called me a horrible name every day for years I could still have scars from this. Just because the scars aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Don’t feel like it’s not real bullying because it’s not visible to everyone. Don’t minimize your hurt, if you feel it then its real.

>These people who call you names are sad, pathetic people who are really just scared of being bullied. If you bully someone it makes you less likely to be a target. In truth most people who are mean to others have had it done to them. You’d think it would make people not want to hurt others in the same way so they could stop the cycle. Unfortunately it is human nature to try to protect yourself. Survival of the fittest relays itself into people making others appear weak so they can appear strong.

>Don’t let them make you weak. Don’t let them wear you down. Don’t believe their words. Don’t give these people the power they want. If you believe their words and allow it to follow you around for the rest of your life then they have won, they have power and they have beat you.

 Here are the sources of those stats I mentioned:

 (1) http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/teenage-bullying.html 

(2) http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/school-bullying-statistics.html

(3) http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html

(4) http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html 

If you want any more help, advice or information you can also visit these sites:

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

I strongly suggest you do tell someone if you are being bullied. Even if the first person you tell isn’t someone who can do anything about it you might find that you are relieved to just talk about it. Talk to a friend or someone you trust. If you want to you can talk to me. Please just don’t give them the power by letting it go on too long.

A/N

Hi,

This is a serious topic and I really just want to let you know that those people who are mean to you now with be nothing to you in a couple of years so please don't take what they say to be true.

Feel free to leave any comments talking about this issue or anything else you really want to say.

Because this is a serious chapter I would love it if you could also comment telling me what your favourite baked treat/dessert is. Mine is Brownie. Or cookies. Or chocolate cake. Or Ben & Jerry's. Or chocolate. But brownie is my favourite. 

Thanks for reading,

Jess

P.S. I have a few songs that I want to put with this chapter so I'm going to link them over the next few chapters. The one I've put up today is Invisible by Hunter Hayes. This song is so true and really relevant so please go listen to it

Dedicated to @TanithloWrites for reading, commenting and being a strong and beautiful person.