The New King || harringrove

Im Sorry

「𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞」

His words echoed in my mind "i'm attracted to you" its all I could here, he was still talking but I wasn't taking anything in. I was staring a hole through my pants when he reached over. "Hey... did I say something wrong?" He asked sounding so concerned and gentle "it's not that you said something wrong I..... I just don't know how to take it in" I said sounding shaky "neither of us need to act on anything Harrington I just needed that off my chest" I nodded and stood up "I need a breather" I walked out and stood by his car running my hands through my hair.

What was I to do? I don't understand these feelings because they are so taboo, but I know deep down that I feel the same way about him as he does. I'm at a total loss for words. It's my turn to disappear.

I open his car and find a random pen and old school paper I wrote on the back; "Billy, I'm sorry but I need to go. I just need some time to process everything. Here's $5 that should cover the meal.
-Steve Harrington" I left the note and money on the seat of his Camaro and made my walking journey home.

「𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲」

I knew right away that he wasn't gonna come back in so I finished what I could without getting sick cause now I already feel sick. Being gay that was disgusting and sick and vile. Why me? Why did I have to fall for such a dweeb who is also a guy? I normal don't fall for people, I use them for a day and then never speak to them again but Harrington was something more. I hate it. But the truth is guys weren't new to me but I've been scared to try again.

I walk out and find the note on my seat, I sigh and get in pocketing the money which I would later using on alcohol. I drove home and saw Neil's car... I could just leave again... but running away from my problems isn't gonna work every time.

I walk into the house and see everyone eating dinner "well, well, well look who final decided to join us" neil grumbled and gestured to a seat at the table the one I always sat at which was next to him, I had no choice. I sat and looked at my plate "Care to explain where you were young man?" He asked I glanced at Max who refused to look up scared that something may happen. "I uh I got off work and then met with an old pal at the diner he wanted to catch up since I left." I said to my father who wiped his mouth and then looked at me "and you left poor little Maxine to do your chores for you? What did we talk about?" His voice was starting to raise "respect and responsibility" I said as monotone as a robot "good, now apologize to your sister and mother" he told me and that was like pulling the trigger on a gone cause I went off.

"She is not my fucking sister and Susan sure as hell is not my mother! Don't ever fucking try and replace my mother with her that's not what she is to me!" I yelled making both max and Susan jump and get up from the table.

Neil grabbed a plate and bashed it over my head but I didn't flinch sure it hurt but I was just gonna take it and let the tears come later "you worthless piece of shit I should have finished you off back in California" he spit in my face I just smirked at him "yeah your life would have been so much better with out me" I spat back and continued to hit and punch and kick me till he gave up and left the house.

I leaned against the kitchen cupboards for a bit but then got up. When I stood up there max and Susan were staring at me standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. "Billy honey are you alright?" That was the first time she ever spoke to me after he hurt me "yeah sorry about the plate I clean everything" I waved her off "oh sweetie you don't have to do that" I ignored her and cleaned up "want me to pack the left overs up?" Max joined in to help "yeah thanks shitbird" I ruffled her hair but then stoped and leaned down to hug her "I'm sorry for what I said, you are my sister... I do care about you a lot" I said and stood up she just smiled up at me "Susan... I'm sorry for what I said I just-..." she approached me slowly but pulled me into a hug "honey it's okay I understand where you're coming from, I know your mother meant the world to you and that you love her so much. I never wanna replace her in your heart or mind" she held me for a bit, I just leaned on her and cried as she rubbed my back. That was the first time I've ever hugged her "I'm sorry I don't step in I just freeze up and get so scared" she was crying too "it's okay Susan I can take it I don't want him to ever hurt you or Max. Ever."

After I had a shower I just slapped some bandaids on the cuts and crawled into bed where I was fast to fall asleep. Today was just to much for me.