"Everything just feels like a bad dream."
•••••••••
"I wish my hair was more like yours."
She takes the brush and runs it through my hair. Her little fingers move to tie it up and I ready myself for the pain that is to follow.
"You know Isa you don't have to tie it." I say in a light tone trying to stop her without offending the little girl.
She was really smart for an eight year old girl and takes it from her mother which is something Elijah didn't like. With Isabelle you have to be careful of what you say because she's offended easily.
Nevertheless she ignores me and continues to tie it up.
"You see Aunt Taylor. I told you I was good at this."
She gets off the bed and jumps in front of me with a smile on her face. I look at myself in the mirror and a smile makes its way onto my face.
"Wow Isa this looks amazing." I say pretending to admire myself.
"You look pretty Aunt T. My mom says that only if you're beautiful in the inside you will be beautiful on the outside." My smile falters at the mention of her mom but act like I didn't hear her.
"And you're beautiful on the inside and outside." I say grabbing a wipe from the dresser and wiping the red stain on her pink dress.
She shrugs her shoulders as if not caring about what I said and skips along leaving the room.
I let out a sigh and fix my hair. My room is a mess again. Filled with pink tea cups and teddy bears. We were having a tea party and she was telling me all about this boy in her class named Calvin who apparently likes her.
Elijah had two security guards around my house 24/7 and I couldn't leave the house without one of them. I was on lockdown basically but at least he he kept his promise and didn't tell Harris.
I sit in front of the dresser and start fixing the mess she made. Isabelle was a lot sometimes but I couldn't help but miss her this time. Her father was currently at work and was on his way now.
Harris had a business meeting tonight and had asked me to attend.
I never attended any of his business ventures cause I wasn't interested. He asked Elijah to talk to me about it and I ended up agreeing mostly because it would also benefit him if they got this deal.
"Daddy!" I hear Isabelle shout from downstairs.
"Hey baby." I hear Elijah reply sounding happy to see her. Soon after I hear Isabelle tell him about what we did today.
I sigh before getting up and make my way downstairs to the lounge.
"This is the last time I'm allowing her to bring any toys in here."
He rolls his eyes and moves towards the couch while taking off his jacket and taking his phone out.
"You're such a neat freak Taylor. Calm down she's just a kid." He says throwing himself on the couch.
"Mr H says he's going to pick you up at seven. The meeting's at half seven."
I look at the watch in the living room. It's six o'clock and I'm still indecisive about going to this meeting. Business just wasn't my thing. The whole networking and signing important documents just wasn't something I wanted to do.
Elijah raises his eyes from his cellphone and stares at me for a long time.
"You're still going right?" He asks sitting up and raising his eyebrows at me.
"I mean.. maybe." I reply in a low voice.
"Come on Taylor. You literally just have to sit there for an hour that's all he's asking for."
"I know. I just don't want to feel like I'm forced to do something I don't want."
"But he's not forcing you."
"You don't understand so just drop it. I'll go to this stupid meeting if it means that much to you." I say already irritated by him.
He doesn't understand and I don't expect him to. I can do whatever the fuck I want with my life and no one has the right to tell me otherwise. He shouldn't be forcing me to do this cause I wouldn't do the same to him. Freedom was something I had to exercise, something I once dreamed of.
He let's out a heavy sigh and let's it go. I go outside to see what Isabelle is up to and just get away from her father. She's sitting on the grass and looking at the sky. I crease my eyebrows in confusion and walk towards her.
"What are you doing here." I say sitting beside her.
"Aunt Taylor." She looks at me with the saddest expression I've ever seen on her.
"What.. What's wrong Isa?" I ask her feeling worried and concerned.
"I miss my momma."
She looks at me for a second and looks back at the horizon. Her eyes are light brown and her hair is dark brown. She's deep in thought and I don't feel comfortable talking about her mother. I didn't really know the situation and feel like it's something Elijah should be talking about with her. Definitely not crazy Aunt Taylor who didn't even have her own life together yet.
How was Elijah going to explain the real situation to her. Isabelle was quite bright for her age and I'm pretty sure she had an idea of her mother's drug addiction problem. No child should go through that especially Isabelle. Growing up without a mother takes a toll on you and I promised myself that I would be Isabelle's rock. I'd be that rock I always needed as a kid and I'd protect her from all the evil men out there.
"Look Aunt Taylor a butterfly!" She says jumping up and running towards the insect. The thought of her mother disappearing into thin air.
I hate bugs and insects but I smile at her and watch as she admires the little bug. Isabelle for me is hope that maybe the world isn't all bad. I've always missed the small beautiful things worth enjoying in life and I was going to make sure that Isabelle was happy even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.
Initially I never liked kids but she reminded me of when I was that little girl chasing butterflies and playing the piano with my mother. Before she became a crack addict.
Sometimes I'd stare at her watching TV for a long time and see myself sitting there.
She runs towards me with a big grin on her face.
"Look what I found."
Isabelle opens her hand to show me a big green insect with black stripes on its back and a long thin tail.
"Euww Isabelle that's disgusting." I scrunch my nose in disgust.
My body shivers at the sight of it making her laugh her eyes out. I loved it when she laughed. It sounded like pure happiness. I laugh at her and watch her as she runs inside to scare her father.
The sound of Elijah's loud voice and Isabelle's laugh can be heard from inside.
