Ilvermorny Love Story

Samhain

October 21, 2001

She stayed with Alice and Neville through the night. The images of two separate wars weighing on her soul. When asked if he wanted healing from his memories, Neville warned her that she would see a side of Severus that she may not particularly like. Steeling herself she had gone ahead.

The anger that rolled off of him was terrifying; seemingly uncontainable vitriol burning everyone around him with acid. Unrelenting strictness and adherence to the rules. Barking orders of submission or else. Fear based teaching. Memories could always be skewed to bias but she had the feeling Neville wouldn't lie.

But even with all of that, she could very clearly see through the facade. The meaner he was, the closer he was to breaking. The memory in the hall of Hogwarts where Severus had to duel Minerva, his friend, in the name of secrecy broke her heart. What hadn't he been forced to give up for that bloody war? How far did he have to degrade himself in order to serve two masters and protect the boy who only reminded him of his abuser?

He had lived his whole life with no one taking his defense and he almost died with everyone thinking the worst of him. What kind of toll had that placed on him?

It was late Sunday night and Alice was chatting happily with Neville. The two of them catching up and glowing with joy. Serena promised to return to their home at Christmas time to free up more memories. She wanted to give Alice's brain time to heal and acclimate to her new surroundings. Too much too soon could prove lethal or worse, back to no active memory. The newspapers would no doubt hear of this by morning and she wanted to be gone.

Healer Miriam had kindly provided them with a portkey back to Ilvermorny; much less havoc on her system than Apparition.

The castle loomed large in front of them, and hundreds of pages of notes needed editing and sent to the Healer board within the next week. Severus still hadn't spoken but he held her hand tightly within his.

"The students don't arrive back from break until Friday. Will you stay over with me?" she asked him hopefully

"I'm worried that...That the novelty of me will wear off...When you come up against the reality of what I bear..." he refused to catch her eye, instead focusing on the ground

"Severus, you're not a novelty. I enjoy being with you. And if it comes to that, I want to bear everything with you" she fought back, placing a hand gingerly on his cheek

"We are hidden here from the attention of life in England. When your research comes to light, you will face incredible derision for associating with me...It's not going to be enough, whatever you think you feel" he answered, decidedly neutral, trying to appeal to her logic

"And you think you know how much resolve I have? You think you know how deeply my feelings run?" she questioned him gently, more gently than she felt, anger roiling through her gut

"It's barely been three months. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to drop this and never speak of it again. Especially after what you've seen with the Longbottom memories..." he fingered her skirt, trying to calm his nerves against the smooth blue silk 

She stepped closer, heart dropping but refusing to believe that he truly wanted to end things. He was preemptively trying to keep her from something that he saw as a problem. She saw none. Her research would speak for itself, and if her associations came into question, she had a few things she could say. None of them kind.

A strong hope sprang up as she realized something. He cared so deeply about her, that he was willing to care for her needs over his already. But he didn't need to do that. She stood by her values and her people.