Memories we lock away
Rise up when we least expect it
It takes a part of us
And wraps it up
Squeezing until you're drowning
When the memories came back
It felt like a punch to the gut
He walked into my room
As I was topless
Changing into my bikini
To go play with my siblings
He looked
Apologized
And left the room
When I joined the kids
We were in the living room
The kids laughing
Then he came up behind me
Grabbed the top strap of my bikini
And pulled
In front of my younger siblings
Who I love more than the world
Who I put before everything
He exposed my breasts
I pulled the fabric back over me
As quickly as I could
As tears formed in my throat
He laughed
Because he got exactly
what he wanted
The kids laughed
Because they didn't understand
They didn't know
That it wasn't funny
It wasn't a joke
It wasn't the same as "bum"
It's not the same as when it's on tv
It was in real life
And it wasn't a joke
It was yet another form of abuse
Another way to take power
and have control over me
I sobbed in my room
for 10 minutes I let myself break
Just a little
Then I pulled it together
Wiped my tears
And went outside with my siblings
With a thin sweater
On top of my bikini
In the hot July weather
-I never told, I locked it too deep
YOU ARE READING
Writing Until My Soul Recovers
PoetryI'm seventeen with more trauma than most my age. I haven't cut in five months but I'm struggling. My mental health is struggling and it's hard because I'm in recovery from something. But not my big problem. I'm still struggling with that and I was t...
