Fear

8.

I WOKE UP at exactly 2:37am to ready myself for what's to come. I convinced myself that this was the best option to ensure that everyone is safe and happy. They can go on as how they have when I wasn't here. It won't be that big of a deal, I assured myself. Before I could put any more thought towards it, I carefully climbed over Carlton. He was facing away from me as he was sleeping, so I was now facing him as I quickly and quietly got my essentials. I knew that my most important stuff was in my small bag, so it wouldn't take much packing.

With there being barely any visible light in the room, I went over to my suitcase and put my bras and underwear's into my bag. There was already enough clothes for a week, so I should be good. A groan forced me to freeze in my spot, not even breathing, as I waited. My back was towards him and I was bent over, mid putting extra toiletries in the bag. I heard shifting, then it stopped. I waited a few more moments before I slowly let out a sigh of relief, then waited a bit longer before continuing what I was doing. Once I was finished, I slowly turned around and furrowed my brows. Carlton wasn't in bed anymore. I turned back around and nearly jumped two feet into the air.

"What are you doing?" His raspy baritone rung out. Anger was definitely what I heard the most in his voice, but a bit of confusion and pain were hidden underneath. I couldn't really see him, but I saw that his figure was rigid and tall; completely making me feel smaller in this situation. I also saw that he held my bag in his hand tightly. How in the hell did he get in front of me without me seeing him do so? I couldn't answer my own thought because Carlton angrily growled my name.

"I-I was just searching for some.. uh.. some tampons," my brain quickly thought. "I'm supposed to be getting my period soon, and I wanted to make sure I had some before I forgot." I could admit, it was pretty far fetched, but I'm hoping he'll take my word for it. My face was already beet red from saying that and being caught. This is definitely NOT what I was hoping for. This was supposed to go smoothly.

"Bullshit, you could have done that in the morning. Now stop lying and tell me what you were doing." He was starting to get more upset, and it was scaring me. I stuttered and took a few steps away from him. He knows what I'm doing, he just wants me to say it.

"You already know, so why are you asking me?" I made it a point to keep my voice as low as possible to try not to upset him further..

He had other ideas.

"You must really be crazy for you to think that I'd actually let you leave and go out on your own." His voice started to raise noticeably. I tried to shush him, but he continued to speak loudly. "How could you even do this to us- to me?"

"I'm doing this for you, why can't you see that? Everything will go back to normal around here and you won't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I thank and appreciate everything you guys have done for me, but it's time that I take care of my own problems, Carlton. I love that you're so adamant on keeping me safe and making sure I'm okay, but it's time for me to do that for myself now." I said lowly, swallowing the lump in my throat afterwards.

He sighed before dropping the bag roughly, a thud sounding from the impact it made with the floor. "All I see is that you're trying to get yourself killed, and you're pushing everyone that cares and wants to help you away." Suddenly I could see his figure in front of me in one swift motion. "You're not going anywhere, Luna. You need to be around a support system and people that love you to help you through this. I'm not going to stand by and watch you get hurt by going through this by yourself. That's not how we do this. That's not how it's going to work."

"So you're going to blatantly put your family in danger because I can't handle my own issues?" I scoffed and took another step back away from him. Being that close was making my body slightly tingle.