Letters to Myself

Why am I so hard on myself?

Dear me,

It's been a long time since you honestly talk to yourself. I guess life is being tough on you so you decided to shut yourself down.

Recently, you had your best friend ask you all the questions you didn't want to hear.

"Why are you like this? Why aren't you happy? You are so amazing but yet you don't live your life at your best because you are scared. What are you so afraid of?"

You simply said "I don't know" like if was not a big deal and smiled like you always do. The truth is though that it IS a big deal. It's the reason you go to sleep some nights with tears in your eyes.
Saying "I don't know" is so much simpler than acknowledging that you are damaged inside. Smiling is more compelling than ugly crying. And lying is more easy than facing the truth.

What a silly word, truth. Everyone is always so worry about it, so much we are often horrified by its power. And at this period of time, honesty is no longer useful if you wanna make it in the 'real' world. You just got to fake it; the good life, the nice family, everything kind of felt into this spectrum in between of what we are and who we want to be.

And that is the reason you are so tough on yourself.

You are so afraid that being honest and open will destroy you and leave you with nothing. Like a hurricane destroys a city.
You prefer to be this 'bubbled' version of yourself that kind of lives through other people's life.
You want to be eager and take risky decisions, and make mistakes and have fun... but the imagination that you carry in your head is so negative that it stops you from being happy.

You simply stop trying because you don't believe in who you are, and everything that you have done so far. Yes, maybe you're not a hero, or a Nobel-worthy person, but you have kept yourself all those years with your head high. You have proven other people that you can do it yourself. So why stop there? You are amazing, you care about others, you gotta care about yourself. You need to believe that you deserve a life too, a good one.
And the best part of life is overcoming the obstacles that you never thought you'll be able to.

I don't know everything and obviously I will always make mistakes but don't let those mistakes define who you are.

You are a beautiful human being, love yourself.

X Lost_Sky

08/09/19

Hello guys, welcome to my mind.
Hope you enjoyed this very first letter to myself.

Share and vote and comments as you like.

Thank you for the support and I understand if you wanna stay silent.

I might update every now and then, usually when I can sleep and I have too much going on on my mind.

Lots of love. See you later ♥️