hearts on fire

CHAPTER SIX

I looked in to his eyes like a deer caught in head lights. What the hell do I say? I can't just casually tell him some crazy ass dudes kidnapped me last night, stuck a needle in my neck, and insinuated that he was this mythical creature who was supposed to 'claim' me. But maybe he's not the jai brooks they were talking about, maybe he has a brother called jai? Or a cousin?

"So I guessed right?"

"Huh?" he looked at me puzzled and I started to sweat unattractively.

"Your name? You look like a jai, I mean you've got the face for it and uh you have a jai kind of voice and I mean you're a good height for a ja-"

"Yes you did guess right, but cut the crap. What's in your pocket rose?" I debated in my mind whether I wanted to say something or no, and just ended up sputtering out nervously with a snort-

"Uh a tampon? I mean I'm a girl, and there's this one week in a month where ladies tend to, ya know, bleed out of their uh 'lady area'," I patted my pocket "these things come in pretty handy."

He looked at me in surprise and I thought I had tricked him, until he spoke again.

"A tampon in the shape of a needle?" he raised one eyebrow at me.

"How do you do that? I mean I can't lift just one eyebrow, my brain is mentally incapable of that-"

"Oh for god sake rose." he suddenly pulled me towards him making me take in a huge gasp of air, before he roughly pulled the needle out of my pocket. "Hey! Give that back!" I tried grabbing it back from him, but due to how weak my body felt I just fell towards him. I caught him by surprise making us both topple to the ground, with me on top of his chest breathing awkwardly.

Holy shit he smells good. My hands were either side of his head and I was inches away from his face. His pupils dilated and his arms circled around my waist as I leaned in closer, craving his touch more and more. He ran a hand through my messy hair and questioned quietly, "why do you have to be so freaking irresistibly beautiful?" blushing, I ducked my head away from him. I've never been called beautiful before... I've never even been called pretty...

Being near him made me feel better, in the physical sense, so I was able to think coherently. I turned back to him with a light pout on my face. "I'm not beautiful you need to get your eyes checked, I'm ugly as hell." I huffed at him and turned my head away quickly to hide my flaming cheeks.

He took my face in to his gigantic hands and pulled me to face him once more. "Don't you dare say that. How can you not see yourself the way I see you? I love the way your hair falls in to a pretty array of naturally perfect waves without you even trying, your big blue eyes are so innocent, yet you hold such strength behind them. the way you sing softly under your breath when you're concentrating and think no one is listening, and you stomp your foot when you don't get your own way. Not only all of the little things rose, but your body drives me absolutely insane. the little sway of your hips, you bite your lips when you're daydreaming which makes me want to kiss you more each time, the cute little rare smiles you do when you draw on your book are absolutely adorable. Don't say you're not pretty because all the guys here, not that I like to admit it, stare at you with their mouths gaping open even when you bend down to pick up a pen. I've known you what, a week? And I already want to call you mine. But I can't, because the timing isn't right and you're not ready for my world yet." he let out a huge breath of air.

I tried holding back the tears, but a few trickled down my cheek unwillingly. He frowned and wiped them away with his fingers, and cupped my cheek with the palms of his hands. "Why are you crying?" he muttered softly and I sniffled with a clenched heart.

"The only compliments I get are from cherry, and she has to say it because she's my best friend. I've always paled in comparison to raven, she's always been the prettier twin, the nicer twin, the better twin. No matter how much cherry tells me it's not true, and that I'm beautiful too, I don't believe her. I hate myself jai, always have always will, and when someone hates themselves so much it's not easy for them to accept even the lightest good comment because there's always that voice in the back of their mind telling them that the person is lying, that the person is only saying it out of pity at how disgusting they actually are. I dislike every little thing about me, my face, body, weight, personality. Everything. The fact that someone other than my only friend thinks I'm beautiful is extremely hard to hear because do I believe you, or the voices in my head who've been with me from the start?"

Tears were still dripping down my face as he pressed his forehead against mine. "Listen to me. No listen to me closely rose. Those voices in your head are the liars. Not cherry and definitely not me. Raven is not the better twin, so don't you dare say that."

"It's not me who's saying it jai, its 'them'. Even when I was little, they were there. They've always been there, reminding me of how worthless I am." I struggled with my words, my emotions leaking through, and all the things I had bottled up for so long spilled out breaking free from the tight lid I put on them. The voices surrounded me, engulfing me in self-hatred and I felt like screaming at how horrible I felt inside. I wanted him to take them away, to make me not hear them anymore, but I don't think they'll ever truly go away.

He shook his head in battle with his mind, and closed his eyes. His eyes opened quickly, determined as he looked in to my emotion ridden face.

"Fuck it" he exclaimed as he tilted his head and placed his soft minty lips over mine.

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