Nationbeingthing mysteries

Death

Croatia: Hey Serbia!
Serbia: Hey!
Croatia: Have you heard about Kosovo?
Serbia: ?
Croatia: Did Albania call you?
Serbia: No?
Croatia: As expected. Kosovo went missing. I wanted to see if you saw her anywhere.
Serbia: No, I didn't see her.
Croatia: But you do realise if something happened to her you are the first suspect? If you confess now your punishment would be much lighter.
Serbia: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING I SWEAR!
Croatia: If you say so.

Bulgaria approaches.

Bulgaria: Hey guys? Have you heard about Kosovo?
Srb, Cro: Yea.
Bulgaria: Such a shame. I kinda liked her.
Croatia: Why are you talking like she's dead already? We just can't find her.

Croatia's phone rings.

Croatia: excuse me, I have to take this.

Croatia moves aside.

Bulgaria: Oh come on Serbia. Countries don't just go missing like that. And after what happened to Lithuania, I think we might we dealing with a serial killer.
Serbia: Oh please. One went missing, the other one was hit by a car. I think serial killers always kill in the same manner. If we were dealing with a serial killer, wouldn't Kosovo be found dead on some street by now?
Bulgaria: Not necessarily. Serial killers are sometimes looking for something or somebody, or trying to hide something or heal wounds from the past.
Serbia: Yea but, Kosovo and Lithuania? How are they related? They have nothing in common
Bulgaria: I don't know.

North Macedonia arrives. He was smiling but upon seeing Bulgaria the smile turns into a grin. Croatia returns.

North Macedonia: Hey.
Srb, Cro: Hey!
Serbia: Haven't seen you in a while.
North Macedonia: I'm okay now, I was going trough something.
Croatia: Was it the name?
North Macedonia: ...Yea...
Croatia: Don't be so upset, it's just a name. We still love you all the same.
North Macedonia: Thanks.

While they were talking, Bulgaria had left without anybody noticing.

Serbia: Huh, where did he go?
Croatia: No idea.
North Macedonia: I'm not a big fan of Bulgaria lately. I'm kinda glad he left.
Serbia: Understandable.

USA arrives.

USA: Hey guys.
Srb, Cro, Mkd: Hey!
North Macedonia: What are you doing here? Seems pretty strange for you to come to this part of Europe.
USA: I've been informed that there has been some things going on around here so I came to check it out. Serbia, could you follow me please?
Serbia: Uh, sure?

USA takes Serbia aside, away from Croatia and North Macedonia.

USA: I am sorry to inform you that Kosovo has been found dead in the restroom of the building of the Council of Europe.
Serbia: Oh- H- Who killed her???
USA: I am trying to find that out. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
Serbia: Sure.
USA: At the Council of Europe meeting, you were seen entering the restroom during the recess, correct?
Serbia: Yes, correct.

Serbia realises where the conversation is going. He starts sweating.

USA: Did you or did you not see Kosovo dead in the same restroom?
Serbia: No.
USA: Serbia, I'm gonna ask you this only once more. Did you or did you not see Kosovo dead in the restroom?
Serbia: I said no.
USA: Okay, thank you for your time.

USA leaves, Serbia returns to Croatia and North Macedonia.

North Macedonia: You okay?
Serbia: Yea. So guys, Kosovo is...dead.
Croatia: WHY??? SHE WAS SO YOUNG!
Serbia: USA says he doesn't know. He interrogated me. I guess I'm a suspect. Why did they call America anyways? We can handle this ourselves.
Croatia: We don't have any idea who this could've been. It's best to let somebody from the outside investigate.
Serbia: Guess you're right.

USA drives to Russia's house and knocks on her door.

Russia: Oh, it's you. What do I owe the pleasure to?
USA: Russia, I came to ask you a few questions.
Russia: About...?
USA: You'll find out soon enough. You were spotted by a more than a few countries heading towards the restroom during the recess of the meeting of the Council of Europe. Is that true?
Russia: Yes.
USA: Was there anything unusual in the restroom?

Russia knows what USA wants to hear.

Russia: No. I actually didn't go to the restroom. I was just on my way to the supply closet.
USA: Why would you go there?
Russia: I needed something from there.
USA: What?
Russia: I'd rather not say.
USA: Why?
Russia: None of your fucking bussiness.

Russia slams the door in USA's face.

USA (to the door): Thanks for your time.