letter two

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chapter three

dear harry,

three weeks later and i'm already back writing the second reason why we broke up. for a short time, i did feel better after writing it, but it was short-lived so i'm back again. maybe it's only a short term solution, but how would i be able to tell after just one letter? i guess i'm just hopeful and there's no harm in hoping, right?

reason number two carries on from the first: you cheated on me and confirmed my worst nightmares.

it was the final straw, wasn't it? we'd never argued so badly. i remember you threw your phone across the room. it smashed into the wall, denting the wall and breaking the phone, shattering the screen.

you blamed me.

you blamed me for it.

you told me i was the reason you cheated because it was all i ever said to you anymore. but you confirmed it nonetheless.

it was when you thought i was going to be out, but i came home early to find you lying in our bed, naked beneath the sheets with another girl. of course, she was stunning and smiling at you as you talked before you noticed me stood in the doorway, tears in my eyes.

when you saw me stood there, you didn't look like you regretted what you'd done. you watched me leave without saying a word. i know our relationship wasn't in the best of places, but don't you think there was something you could have said? you could have apologized and told me why, but instead, you let me go.

we broke up the next day when i came back.

you told me things just weren't working between us anymore, but you still loved me as you did all that time ago. you told me i'd changed, harry, and you couldn't have been more right. i changed from the sweet, chilled out the girl you'd first met in Nandos to a needy, whiny girlfriend with trust issues and a history of cheating.

i remember crying as you hugged me for the final time. you held me in your arms like you always did, just how i liked it, and then i'd gone into our room and packed my things into the red suitcase i took on our first holiday together.

you watched me leave again and i left without protest. i always blamed you for not fighting for it, but now i realize that i didn't fight either. i didn't even lift a finger. maybe it was because deep down i knew it was never going to work or maybe it was because i just wanted you to be happy.

are you happier without me, harry?

am i happier without you?

yours truly.

love, marlee x

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