New Game New Rules

34 - Never Happened

TIANA'S PERSPECTIVE

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Dinner is about to start, my heart was pounding ever so quickly knowing that Andrew was downstairs on my couch with the rest of my family as well as Nickola. I could only imagine what they could be talking about let alone the tension in the atmosphere.

I heard my dad's muffled debate based on pizza size and the rest the family laugh. Maybe things couldn't be as bad as I thought but I couldn't help feel my heart tighten as my breath quicken with the anxiety rising.I could not believe my stupid self. Out of everything that I said I would never do and be I turn out to do and be the exact opposite. I'm no better than my stupid ex.

I sighed feeling myself tear up. The audacity I have to pretend that it never happened. I want to cry. I needed to end this. For real this time. I can't do this to myself anymore, I am not this kind of girl to be fooling around and to beat around the bush. I can't do it anymore.

Tears slipped down my eyes thinking back of what I have done to Nickola and the shame I have caused myself. After all the memories we have shared and all the ups and downs we have been through, and most importantly all the love, care and trust he has brought to give. I diced to take that all away and throw it in the trash as if it was nothing.
I'm no better than a hypocritical ex.

Flickering my eyes into the reflection of my mirror, my cheeks flushed with colour and my eyes bright with anger. I shook my head at myself. "Who have you become? You deserve all the karma that is about to come."

A sudden knock came from behind the bathroom door and I jumped on spot putting a hand to my heart starring at the door. Instantly I whipped the tears away. "W-who is it?"

"Tia honey? Who are you talking to?"

It was as if God herself had heard my call and came to my presents, I heard my self sob and my mum knock again."Tiana. Are you okay? Open the door."

Quickly I had done what I was told, when my mother walked in her eyes had beamed with concern, Mama shut the door quickly locking it, then ever so quickly she pulled me into her arms, I sobbed in her neck hugging her tight as she shushed me gently.

It was rear that she had ever seen me so distressed and every time I was, she would cry too. I hated it. Ever since I moved away from my mother it seemed as if my heart had fallen lonely. "Mama." I cried.

I didn't want to tell my mother, she would have made me feel even more regret and shame. I didn't need her to tell me that it was wrong or to lecture me about love. It was a secret that I could bring myself to say but then again as much as I tried to hide my feelings I had forgotten that my eyes could say it all.

But then again maybe I needed this. the real love from my mother. Tough, lectured love.

I shook my head. I couldn't tell her.

So I had diced again to play as if it never happened.

"Nothing, nothing. I just fell and hit my head bad."She gasped tugging my hands away from my face cleaning away the tears from my cheeks, she stared at me for a moment trying to figure out what I was hiding.

But regardless she had said nothing as I stared at her, another tear had fallen. I shook my headcover my face, she had pulled me into her arms once again.

Surely by now, she must have realised it wasn't just a hit on the head.
"Sonce moje." she sighed as if she knew.

"Let's get you to bed."Mama turned away but still holding my hand in hers, she unlocked the door and ever so tentatively led me out the bathroom making sure that I minded my step and balance until I made it to my room.

My bedroom was dimmed down into a calming light purple by the strip lights hung above the window, it all most blended my entire room to look as if it was invisible. Instantly did I feel ever so sleepy just by the look of my giant bed and beautiful lights.