New Game New Rules

44 - Closure

***

Three months later

Tiana's perspective. 

Andrew placed his hand on mine causing my leg to stop shaking, but still, I was locked out as the doctor's voice muted as she softly spoke, I bowed my head in sadness as she said those big little words.

"There will be complications."

Andrew only held my hand a little tighter, he wanted to be strong and feel no such pain, and wanted to show me that he can keep it together for the both of us but already I could sense the sadness within his grip. We both knew that this was coming, that this was already the possibility of disaster and yet we insisted to try again because I believed that there was hope, that it was some kind of faith that we needed to fulfil. Hope to give my husband a child.

I mean, what did I expect when there was already a complication made. At this point, I had given up and feel fullish for coming here in the first place.

"What kind of complications?" Andrew asked seriously. The doctor sighed and taken off her classes, interlocked her fingers together and placed them on the table.

"Because of Tiana's case last year, her trauma had risen to a rapid state which means her blood pressure did as well if you fall pregnant, at 20 weeks you and the baby can in risk of pre-eclampsia- "

I had gulped and took a breath, Andrew as clueless as he was didn't understand but as he scented my emotion he immediately intervened. "Meaning what exactly?"

The doctor took a glance at his notes and told him sadly, "meaning that it may lead to serious or fatal circumstances." Andrew's eyes widen and he let out a little breathe and snapped his head at me, I wanted to cry and I wanted to die.

"Surely there's a solution!" I shouted, even though there was no positive outcome.
"I read somewhere that there was pressure!? C-section?"

"Yes, but still can be fatal." The doctor defended. Frustration was beyond words when I began to stumble upon words, there was just nothing smart to say when you are in the wrong and under pressure with anger. "I'll d-"

"No." Andrew silenced me, both the doctor and I flinched. "We can not risk it, Tiana. I can't lose you again." 

At that moment I let out a small sob, and trembled into my hands, "What kind of a wife would I be if I can't give my husband a family?"

Andrew tsked and ever so quickly did I feel his hands grip onto me, I looked up and he was crouched in front of my knees, he shook his head as tears glistened in his eyes but still, he had reached for my hands and held them to his lips. "Tiana, you are my family. Don't you understand? Baby or not we are always going to be a family. It's me and you forever and always."

I sniffed with a silent sob and looked away from him, "I just want to give you what I know you want Andrew."

Andrew sighed and shuffled closer into my making me look into his eyes. "I want you. Only you."

A smile crept on my face but still sadden I didn't bother I only stared at him for a moment when the doctor awkwardly imposed into our moment. He cleared his throat and slid over a box of tissues towards Andrew, he had smiled and thanked her and cleared my tears as the doctor prepared another lecture.

"If you are desperate on having a baby, we have other alternatives at the felicity you can think about; Artificial insemination" 

Andrew and I whipped around to face the doctor."What does that mean?" Andrew asked.

The doctor pulled out a brochure from behind her and handed it to him, he clicked a few times on the computer and flipped over the screen so that we could see."You can consider a surrogate mother, where another woman can hold your baby. We can take your sperm to inject it in another egg."

Both Andrew and I were left stunned, Andrew had shaken his head in confusion as he read through the brochure, "But doesn't that mean it won't have the same gene as Tiana." In the whole situation, I wasn't looking at the cons or thinking about the differences between our baby. All I could think about is considering this opportunity to start a family with my husband.

"I-I don't know." Andrew stammered anxiously. I touched his shoulder and instantly he had turned around, I cupped his cheek and smiled hopefully down at him. 

"I want to do this. We have three amazing, healthy and beautiful best friends that can help us"Andrew shook his head, "Tiana, you haven't thought this through. We need to make a rational desition. I want your features in our baby, not some stranger."

Maybe now I wasn't thinking it through but knowing that this may be our only option I was sure as hell that Diana, Maria or Liv would most definitely not let me use their utires. God, this was the stupidest and most selfish idea I have ever come up with.

Andrew shuddered and shook his head. "N-No way."

"Look, Andrew." I stood up as the anger rose within me. "I want a baby. I want your baby. And This is the closest and only option for me to giving you a child."

Andrew and the doctor were both silent, both looking at each other for a decision worth making but defensively the doctor had butt out of Andrew's business she let it all to him to make this kind of decision. 

He sighed and looked up at me with defence as he stood to his feet, overcasting the light that was coming from the window. It was obvious to his answer was going to be, by the look on his face and the tension in his body he said the one thing to at least keep me silent.

"For what it is worth we can ask them to consider it. But if they say no. I will only nod and leave the room, dropping the inter conversation altogether."

I sighed somewhat in relief and nodded at him and successfully smiling at the doctor, "fair enough." I begin to gather my bag and approached the doctor's desk and took another two brochures for the girls. Now it wasn't fair to bombard the office like this, but when you a desperate and in deep emotion, it was somewhat worth it. "Thank you for your time, Dr Morty. I apologise for the outburst." I said calmly and headed out the door.

I heard Andrew sigh as I left him behind than say something to the doctor, "She's a stubborn one isn't she?" Dr Morty said with a slight chuckle.  Andrew hummed, "very stubborn, but sometimes it's worth fighting for what she wants."

Dr Moty chuckled once again. "Here is a prescription for her pains, and to try and make things easier for the both of you I want to help and see what other option we have for you. We'll check in three weeks."

"Thank you, Dr Morty."

Andrew came out the door, still, sadden and within the uncomfortable state he smiled and kissed my cheek, taking me under his arm as we walked down the corridor. After a bit of silence, I bowed my head and looped my arm around his waist as I leaned on his shoulder and looked up at him. "I'm sorry Andrew." He smiled down at me and creased my cheek softly as he tucked away from the long strand of my hair behind my ear. 

Through thick and thin, sickness and in health, there were no words to describe how much this man has loved me, how much he has cherished me and praised me every night and day reminding me that I was worthy for him. I was lucky to have him, lucky to be alive by him and lucky to be loved by him. I just thought that this could have the way I could have said 'thank you.'

"I think we should just stop trying for a little while," Andrew said. My heart somewhat shattered and when he sensed my state he took my hand. "I was thinking we can just get away for a while, escape and find a way to settle your trauma. Maybe go on holiday, finally have our honeymoon?" 

"I don't think that's a good idea, Andrew. With all the moving and -"

Andrew shook his head, "Babygirl," he began almost frustrated, "you need this. We both need this."

I sighed and kept walking, "and where would we go Andrew?"

"Macedonia." 

I whipped right back around and gawked at him with all seriousness, he only stared at me blankly and shrugged his shoulders shoving his hand right into his pockets and kept walking."Are you crazy?" I scoffed with a little bit of annoyance. Andrew glanced over his shoulder and flashed a cheeky smirk he spun around and nodded his head.

"I was going to keep 'til our anniversary but today seemed right." Andrew pulled out two papers from behind his pocket and flipped through them, handing them to me with a smile. In my mind, I was lost with excitement but the expression on my face was far beyond from excitement, somewhat anger washed upon me as I stared down at them.

"Let's swap," Andrew said with hopefulness, he slowly took the medical broachers from my hands and replaced them with the aeroplane tickets. "We need this."

Those three little words kept reaping in my head as if it were my conscious. As I thought about it, the situation grew worse in my mind. Andrew may be right and was doing good to look out for us but at the same time he was giving up.

"Is this you telling me to give up?" I peered up at him with sadness. He shook his head and almost instantly he spoke calmly and in my tone. "No, this me telling you to take a break." "I just want to give you what you want. It' isn't enough to say thank you for everything you have already done for me." I didn't notice that I had begun to cry when Andrew had pulled me to his chest; I had fallen to pieces as well as all I have held in.

Andrew held me close and tight, swayed us gently and kissed my head more times than I can count. As I laid my head against his chest I felt his heart beat faster and his breathing did too. "You are what I want Tia," he croaked, "I want you to understand that I want you to take a break."Andrew had pulled away and made me look up at him those eyes turned red with tears and the saddens had written all over him, but instead of looking after himself, he had put me first. Wiping away the tear on my cheek, he cupped them for absolute reassurance. "You are more than enough, why can't you see that?"

Without the care in the world, I only kissed him because right now this was the most vulnerable we have ever been. He hugged me to his chest and sighed, "Can we please just take a break from all of this?"

I sniffed and finally agreeing I nodded my head on his chest. We needed to find another source of happiness, we needed a break, we needed another source of closer.


And all that was right in our pockets. 

***

Author's Note

Ya'll really thought it's over?