But I found you

19

He knocked the door once.Twice.No answer.

"Hoseok hyung...it's me Jimin.Please open the door"

"Go away"

"Please...I just want to talk"

A deep sigh.Another few seconds passed and Hoseok finally opened the door.Looking exhausted.He looked like he cried but Jimin wasn't sure.Because through the whole two weeks,he never saw Hoseok in a sad mood.He was always cheerful and talkative.But it wasn't time to debate on his own thoughts.He wanted to at least be there for this kind man who helped him on his worst situation.

"Is it that bad?" He asked.Hoseok just shrugged and let him in to his room.Jimin quietly went to sit on one of the free chairs in the room as Hoseok went back to sit on his bed.

"I was surprised.Never assumed hyung would invite him here.I literally told him to seek help from Namjoon since he is a genius but I never thought we would meet like this.I'm sorry I snapped like that Jimin.I know this is really important to you"

"Hyung,it's okay.If you're not comfortable around Namjoon-ssi let's  ask Yoongi hyung to seek help from someone else"

"No.no.It's okay.I can bear it.I mean I'm not uncomfortable around him.I was never uncomfortable around Kim Namjoon.I think I'm still hurt.Hurt from the past that I can't forget easily"

"Do you like him Hoseok hyung?"

"I don't know Jimin.I just can't explain what I feel for him"

"Can I ask what happened if you don't mind?"

"Things happened.He was hyung's roommate & I was hyung's best friend so we happened to hang out a lot.We bumped to each other like everyday at the college & by the time passed we became friends too.There was a lot of sexual tension between us.Oneday we went to a party & we were drunk,ended sleeping together.Both him and I wasn't fully aware of our gender identity.Since there were a lot of homophobes at the college,we both were scared,hesitant and we had our finals to study since it was our last year at college.Both of us were stressed over a lot of things" Hoseok stopped for a bit and rubbed his temple.Jimin got up and sat beside him.Rubbing a soothing hand over his shoulder.

"I know how hard it is hyung"

"No you don't Jimin.You have to go through the same situation to understand someone's true feelings"

"What if I went through the same kind of situation myself? I mean not like sleeping together kind one.But identity crisis situation?" To that Hoseok raised his head,big eyes searching if Jimin is being honest.

"You did?"

"Yeah,hyung.Maybe not as hard as your situation but in an era where people are easily judged by anything they di,I suffered too.But it wasn't hard for me as everyone knew who my mom and dad were.They were kind of scared to hurt me"

"Oh I'm so sorry Jimin.I never knew you had to go through those things too.Yushin didn't knew.Did she?"

"No.I didn't want to bother noona.I suffered alone.She did a lot for me already.Didn't want to be a burden.Anyway,it's not about me.It's about you so please continue.I can at least listen even though I'm no help"

"You're a big help.I feel like a weight getting lifted from my heart when I vent out everything"

"I'm glad..so what happened then?"

"Uhh we ignored each other after that night but we couldn't stay like that for so long.Oneday he showed up in front of our dorm room saying he wanted to talk but actually there were less words & more other things" a fond smile appeared on Hoseok's face that Jimin noticed.