i hate it here. i don't belong here, and i sure as hell don't want to be here.
you tell your mom how you want to die, then you drive a little too fast around a curve while it's raining, and they send you straight from st. francis medical center emergency room to st. luke's behavioral health pavilion. what's with all of these saints, anyway? i'm not catholic, and i can assure you neither are 80% of the people here.
i'm only going to say this once: i am not crazy. sure, i'm a little sad, but if your dad bailed on you as a kid, you'd probably be a little messed up, too.
i stepped out in the hallway in my white scrubs and my name tag, michael clifford: patient 22606.
5:30 meant dinnertime, so i followed the crowd of teenagers into the dining hall. god, it felt so much like prison. i mean, no, i haven't actually been to prison, but it's everything i imagine prison to be. i've watched orange is the new black. i have a vague idea.
everyone stared at me as i grabbed my tray and sat down at an empty table. what, have these girls never seen a boy before? i knew i wasn't ugly, but damn. i felt like zac efron at a cafe with insane fangirls stalking my every move.
i tried to redirect my focus away from the pairs of batting eyelashes around me, and immediately, my eyes landed on her.
she was the only girl in the room that didn't have drool running down her chin at the sight of me. she had shoulder-length, give or take a few inches, brown, knotted hair. she was skinny, her cheek and collar bones very prominent on her small frame. the circles under her eyes showed a lack of rest, and the pink ribbon slashes up her arms showed a lack of happiness. maybe the lack of a friend. she stared down at her lap, not daring to cross gazes with me.
so, being the absolute sweetheart that i am, i got up and plopped down across from her.
she jumped at the sound of my tray hitting the table, and her eyes doubled in size.
"hi," i said, "i'm michael."
"i'm aerin."
her voice was soft and shaky, and her fingers trembled as she spoke to me.
she wasn't perfect. in fact, she was far from. she wasn't ordinary.
but to me, she was beautiful.
she sat quietly as i finished my dinner, and before we left to return to our rooms, i asked her one final question.
"aerin," i began, capturing her attention, "would you mind if i sat with you again tomorrow?"
and she nodded.
and i smiled.
***
ps her name is pronounced as "aaron" or "erin" ok ya
