poetry.

is this love?

the aching in my chest has returned

and the darkness is clawing its way up my throat

ripping sobs from my shaking body

"is this what love is?" I whisper to the demon in my ear

heartbreak and joy and crying all rolled into one feeling

my stomach clenches

when you say hello

wondering which version of you I'll get today

I double over in pain

when I remember the dream I had of you

and me

kissing me so gently

loving me so tenderly

and I cry

because I know

you'll never love me like that

and, once again, I'm holding out

holding out and beaten black and blue

in hope of a kind word

that my ears will never hear