poetry.

not that it matters, but I'm sorry

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you were harassed for years and bullied for something you can't control. I'm sorry that you only have two people who don't hurt you on a daily basis, and I'm sorry that you don't know if you love me because I'm the only female who pays attention to you, or if your feelings for me are true. I'm sorry for the trauma and abuse that the world caused you.

but most of all, I'm sorry I led you on for years. I'm sorry that I took advantage of your poor communication skills for my own personal gain, and I'm sorry that you thought I loved you too. I do love you, but never in the way you love me.
you are everything I could ever ask for, but the feelings aren't there and I am sorry. I wish it were different, I wish I could move on from him (who doesn't love me the way I love him) and focus on you, and I'm sorry I kissed him behind the church and told you about it. I'm sorry that I caused you pain, just like everyone else you come into contact with.
saying sorry a dozen times does nothing, I know. it doesn't make up for all the anguish in your life, and it certainly doesn't excuse me from the cruelty I unknowingly took part in.
I love you, don't get me wrong, but never in the way you love me. I would give anything to love you the same as you to me, but I can't and I am so sorry.
the worst part is, you will forgive me over and over and over, not matter how much I hurt you. I resolve never to hurt you again. you are too innocent, too pure, too beautiful to destroy. causing you pain is a cardinal sin to me, and I refuse to take part in the heartache other have caused you. I love you. thank you for loving me too.