Let It Out, Babe

My past.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. My eyes stung as the lights of lamp shoot straight to my eyes. I tried to move my right hand but it was tied. My left hand and my legs also being tied. Scared is wrapping my body. I start to shiver as my anxiety came at the moments. I shout. Loudly until my throat becomes sick. There's no one here. I know it so why bother I shout exactly. Sigh! I've been kidnapped.

I look around the room checking where I'm about. It must be a house or a warehouse. I see it in the movies where usually the criminal would hide the victims. It's creepy to think about it for the next consequences.

I close my eyes andtry to breathe slowly so my panic attack doesn't take over me. I try to stay calm by remembering  every one that I loved. My eyes become teary.

There's Liam.. Kelly.. Christ.. Andie.. .... .... 

I-I I don't want to mention him.

It would be hurt.  My heart..

Click! The door being unlocked and my eyes catch the blue eyes looking evil as hell. He quirks a smirk and slowly let out a small laughter. He sat at the side of the bed and running his finger towards my body. My body keeps tense at his touch rejecting him.

He starts from my face, neck and directly to my breast. He stops for awhile smirking to me as he feels it fun. Well, I'm not. I slightly shake my body protesting his actions.

"Ouh, look at you. Being feisty already, huh?"

I showed my middle finger to him even my hand being tied. His face changes a bit from smiling to furious. He must feeling humiliated as he can't stand people being rude and not hearing his order.

A glass of water intentionally dropped over me making my white shirt wet and showing my bras. Shit! I should not wear it in the first place. I fucking curse him inside my heart.

"Ouh, shit! Your shirt is wet. You might be cold inside. Let me," he tear apart my shirt roughly. I was getting shocked and just shake my body for him to not touch my shirt. Now, I'm barely naked with only my bras. He then slightly touch my bare chest with his back hand. I intensely stare at him biting my bottom lips.

"This is used to be mine. My pleasure. My loved. But.." I look at him disgusting. Used.

"How come you let other guy touch you? It's mine. All mine,"

"Before," I snapped. He looks at me straight. His eyes become sad and hurtful. I used to care about that eyes. The eyes that I can't barely look and stand for. But, it was before. Before he did that--

"I love you. I still loves you, babe. We can go back together," he begging me. I shook my head. I can't let him again in my life.

"The past was past. That was out of control. I still loves you and always do. Come back to me, please,"

I stare deeply in his eyes. He's desperate and very determined. I close my eyes and breathe slowly to not let any tears drop.

How can I go back to you? You're not even sorry and you're hurting me enough. I cried in my heart.

*** ***

2 years ago...

Everything's hell enough. I'm tired. Tired being tortured every fucking days. Tired being the one who takes all the blame. Everyone's else fault becomes mine and I'm the one being punished. I've been cursed, bullied, fraud and framed for 4 months. It's hurt me every day and keep killings me.

No one knows including Liam and Kelly. They always thought that I was happy. Happy living my life with Kevin. Bullshit! They know nothing. I'm not living a full life happily but I'm living waited for my life ended. Yes! It's Kevin. The Kevin Thompson that everyone adores.

People admires him for being the good and kindhearted man. As he always speak nicely and likes to help people, he's been marked as a 'perfect' husband to-be. I used to acknowledge it. Yet, the fucking 'nobody is perfect' words, really haunted me for 4 months straight.

He's the one that people adores off, keep torturing me every single days. He would take hand on me and bit me everytime he drunk. I used to defend myself but I'd get bruises as my punishment. He's sorry becomes his habit and I start to fucking hate that words.

Speaking of my anxiety, it starts from where I've been jerk off whenever I speak up my mind. I've been told to not easily blurt out anything that I want to. He said they would pissed him off and he didn't like my thoughts. That's when I stop being open-minded and just keep in myself whenever I felt to speak on.

I hate him. But, I hate myself more because I can't protect myself and stand straight on my feets. I was useless and keep nodding what he's been told me to. I failed taking good care of my own self

I wish I could turn back time...